VRYKERION

Demons Need Love Too

November 25, 2008
Well, I suppose you can't just find it in your grocer's freezer or anything.

Location: Felfire Hill, Ashenvale

Faction: Neutral

If you ever needed a reason to actually read some of those quest items you randomly pick up through the game, this is a good one. I decided to flip through a copy of “Diabolical Plans” that drop off various demons in Ashenvale and found it to have an insightful twist. What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a demon with a heart. One he did not rip out of another person’s chest, mind you. No, this one is all his own. And apperently is quite fond of not only writing love letters to ‘lashers’ (which are the succubus’ in the area) but does so with the blood of night elf virgins (Oh, are the Priestesses of Elune becoming endangered?)

I can’t exactly blame Diathorus. As any warlock can tell you, succubi are hawt. As any patron of an Ironforge mailbox can tell you, Night Elves are hawt. Wouldn’t you do the same in his shoes… hooves… feet? Is Diathorus really such a bad guy?

Yes. Yes he is. He’s a frickin Demon.
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Dirty Ol’ Priests

November 2, 2008
It must get lonely out here by himself…

Location: Misty Pine Refuge, Dun Morogh

Faction: Alliance

Just off the road to Loch Modan you will find this strange little house on the side of the hill, it’s only occupant? A priest of the Argent Dawn, Father Gavin. Now unless the Scourge Invasion is on, I haven’t seen an abundance of Argent Dawn agents outside of the Plaguelands. Cause, ya know, that’s where the scourge is. Yet as far back as I can recall, Father Gavin has been sitting around in Dun Morogh doing absolutely nothing. No quests, no dialogue, he just stands there in the refuge. One must wonder why, and that just so happens to be my speciality.

I think he may be a quasi-banished member of the Argent Dawn. Sent to serve at the most pointless outpost in the Eastern Kingdoms. Honestly, I’ve never seen an abundance of Scourge in Dun Morogh. Unless the Troggs count as Scourge… or Gnomes. Maybe Gnomes nuked their own city so they could get closer to the dwarves in service to the Lich King! But I suppose it wouldn’t make sense why they’re trying to reclaim it then.

(more…)
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Braaaaains…

October 26, 2008
Location: Shattrath City, Terrokar Forest

Faction: Neutral (Yet unrepeatable)

I was lucky enough to be passing by to catch this lovely video demonstrating a hilarious example of how to make the life of a zombie a bit more interesting. I don’t believe you can do this, it was hotpatched or something to that like. But watch this video, as the Flight master reacts to the Shattrath Zombies, along with some WoW Economic curiosities.
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Omigawd! Girl Talk in the Barrens!

October 21, 2008
Omigawd! Shoes.

Location: The Gold Road, The Barrens

Faction: Neutral (But they might hit you if your alliance)

Just a bit south from the Crossroads (So Alliance, take in the sights before going on a muderous rampage), there’s a tent on the east side of the road. Inside are two female Horde Guards chatting away. They never really say anything though. They move their mouths, the wave their hands, but not one bit of dialogue has come out of these two. One of them does laugh at some point, so they have to be talking about something funny. I bet it’s boys. You know once you go tauren, your love life will never be borin’.
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The Keg Inspector Cometh

October 20, 2008
Location: The Bazaar, Silvermoon City

Faction: Horde

Silvermoon City is full of strange characters that really don’t serve any purpose. It adds to the atmosphere of the place (unlike Ironforge’s dozens of completely empty homes). One such character is Rarthein. There is no secrets behind his name or his existence. He just wanders around the Bazaar’s couple of buildings checking the extremely randomly placed barrels of what I can only assume is wine.

It’s a bit like Sisyphus. He is doomed to spend an entire walking around and inspecting these kegs. I don’t know what he’s looking for. He normally just bends down and looks at them. He could be checking if they are full. But he does this constantly. If it was full, I doubt it will be empty in 10 minutes! One must wonder what he had to do to get this job. It has to be some kind of elaborate punishment. Perhaps he was caught with his pants down with some important elf? Maybe he wasn’t happy, I hear that’s illegal in Silvermoon.
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Putting Some Boom in the Bedroom

October 18, 2008
Location: The Great Forge, Ironforge

Faction: Alliance

Just wandering around the great city of Ironforge, you find a lot of empty homes. I hopped in one between the Mystic Ward and the Great Forge when I spotted some unusual bedside accessories. I know it’s supposed to be the goblins’ job to love explosives, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one keep two bombs and a gun next to their bed. And with how much dwarves are known for the affinity for drinking, I can’t wager that it’s safe either.

Dwarven men of Azeroth: THIS IS NOT WHAT YOUR WIFE MEANT BY WANTING MORE EXCITEMENT IN BED!
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What is Best in Life?

October 18, 2008
Take the sword. TAKE IT!

Location: Crypt, Badlands

Faction: Neutral

Why, to see your enemies driven before you! Deep within the Badlands, just up the hill, I stumbled upon this lovely little pop culture reference to Conan the Barbarian. There’s no other real point to it all. The interesting thing is that they used a scourge model, which leaves some to wonder what the scourge were doing in the Badlands – so far from any territory they control. I suppose they could have come for Uldaman, the entrance to the crypt isn’t far from the backdoor to the Titan City.

Perhaps they are remnants of the titans themselves? Of course they look nothing like the giant stone like beings, but have you ever seen a titan skeleton? No. You haven’t.
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Cenarius Gonna Sue Somebody!

October 13, 2008
Location: Stonetalon Peak, Stonetalon Mountains

Faction: Neutral (Can only be seen from the sky)

I noticed this one on a fly by on the way to Ashenvale, and had to drop some additional coin to come back and confirm it (and snap a photo). But the Cenarion Circle is apparently extremely protective of the environment. How protective one might ask? Well, they have copyrighted Stonetalon Peak. You may think it’s just some old temple ruins, but no. It’s a giant copyright symbol on top of the Peak. I’m guessing that means they have the copyright on peaks… or mountains… or Stone.. Talons?

I wonder if the Horde have to pay the Circle royalties for setting up the Sun Rock Retreat. Venture Company however gets free reign, because there is no way a bunch of Elves are ever gonna best a goblin lawyer.
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Orcs are Horrible Engineers

October 8, 2008
You think this is big, Imagine the CEO's desk it goes on.

Location: Warsong Lumber Camp, Ashenvale and Windshear Crag, Stonetalon Mountains

Faction: Neutral (Easier if your Horde)

While I have little to no doubt in the aptitude of the average Orc to smelt ore, crush stone to powder, or assemble small mechanical squirrels – one need only to venture to the Warsong lumber yards in Eastern Ashenvale to witness the true weak link of Orcish engineering. A serious lack of math.

Take a look at this picture. There are no less than two of these contraptions in the entire area. I can’t figure out what they could be used for. At first glance this contraption is designed to simply put wood on a wagon. But not so. This device does not have enough rope for that. I walked around it three times looking for some manner of extra rope to lift and lower the wood. Doesn’t exist. The wood only has enough rope to keep it suspended in the air like it’s seen. It’s a giant orc executive ball clicker.

(more…)
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The Taxidermy Conspiracy

October 8, 2008
Plainstriders, Bears, and LIES! Oh My!

LOCATION: Farstrider Square, Silvermoon City

FACTION: Horde

More fun is to be found in popping into the Hunting Lodge (That’s where the hunter trainers are, if the term Hunting Lodge is too confusing) and look at all the wonderful taxidermy animals that the blood elves had no real way of ever seeing before! That’s right, there’s a plainstrider in there. How in the world did a bunch of xenophobic elves get to the barrens to kill and stuff one and then haul it back to Quel’Thalas? There seems to be more than meets the eye to these shifty elves, and I don’t mean in the ‘Oh! Awesome! It’s Really A Robot’ kind of way.
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