VRYKERION

  • CDevs? CDevs Post? Post Devs Post!

    Some people play WoW for the PvP, some do it for the raids, and others want to get the shiniest gear and then rub in the face of others (Don’t roll your eyes. You know they exist. We all do.) Me?  Well, I play WoW for the Lore.  The stories, the characters and the idea of ever evolving world.  I latch onto the continuity of WoW like a comic book fan beating their head into their desk because DC decided to bring back the multiverse (That reminds me, I still need to read ’52’).

    So when the Creative Development team at Blizz decides to post a Q&A, I take notice.  More than that, I comb through that thing with a fine tooth comb.  More than more than that, here are the results of my combing:

    Q: Are the Warcraft and World of Warcraft RPG books considered canon?

    A: No. The RPG books were created to provide an engaging table-top role-playing experience, which sometimes required diverging from the established video game canon. Blizzard helped generate a great deal of the content within the RPG books, so there will be times when ideas from the RPG will make their way into the game and official lore, but you are much better off considering the RPG books non-canonical unless otherwise stated.

    I made a passing joke about this on Twitter that this eliminates half of WoWpedia.  They actually responded saying that it doesn’t but they welcome feedback on the site.  Of course, they said this while the site (and all of the Curse network) was down.  Dare I call their bluff?  I don’t even know where to begin with all the information that I’ve used here on this very blog that came from the RPG books.  Info on the Dead Goliaths?  Yup.  Populations of various cities, towns and countries?  Uh huh.  Details about day to day life in certain places in the game as well as info on races and characters?  Oh there’s a ton of it in those books.  See, WoWpedia can claim that this minor statement doesn’t invalidate a good chunk of the lore they keep stashed on their shelves, but it has essentially rendered any article citing those books as unreliable as most people think the real Wikipedia is.  I’ll be using WoWpedia and WoWwiki with a grain of salt from here on out.

    Q: Where is X? (X = Calia Menethil, Turalyon, Alleria Windrunner, Med’an, Gallywix, etc.)

    A: There are several “missing” characters in the Warcraft universe, but they are not forgotten! While we’d love to talk about these characters, doing so would spoil a number of the plots we have for Cataclysm and beyond. Believe us when we say that you will definitely hear about these characters when we’re ready to talk about them!

    The trick to this answer isn’t that they let slip that they haven’t forgotten about these characters. It’s the little bit about plots for Cataclysm “and beyond”.  You catch that?  I wonder how far ahead they’ve got planned.  The next expansion?  The next three?  Also the choice of examples here are very interesting.  Calia Menethil, now sole heir to the throne of Lordaeron and had a crush on Deathwing’s human disguise, could she be returning to face off against the Forsaken?  Maybe she was hiding out in the safety of Gilneas until the Cataclysm?  Hmm…  My brains a boil with the possibilities!  And Alleria (no doubt ashamed of her sisters) and Turalyon, lost during the expedition into Outland, could this be a hint at a return to the desolate remains of Draenor?  Or their triumphant return during Azeroth’s darkest hour?

    Med’an and Gallywix are not so surprising.  One’s a AWOL faction leader who is bound to turn up eventually (Fingers crossed for Her Tallness to boot his fat goblin butt out of office though) and the other is a Jesus allegory second only to Thrall who may be the key to finishing out this expansion ala Sunwell Girl. (Naturally Med’an will be even more upset when he learns what the Forsaken did to his REAL father.)

    Q: Why isn’t there a(n) X Archaeology branch? (X = Tauren, Aqir, Faceless One, Furbolg, Murloc, etc.)

    A: This is more of a game design question than a CDev one, but it was asked enough that we wanted to at least point out the following: just because a race doesn’t have an Archaeology branch now doesn’t mean there aren’t artifacts for that race, nor does it mean that the race isn’t a candidate for possible future additions to the profession.

    Yes, yes, you can add more stuff to archaeology later.  We know, we know.  Moving on.

    Q: Have we seen a true titan yet in World of Warcraft?

    A: No, only their creations.

    Well that closes out a lot of speculation doesn’t it? I had always assumed that everything we’ve seen thus far were just creations (Guardians of Ulduar) or interns (Algalon) of the Titans. But it’s nice to have a confirmation.  Especially on Algalon who really could have gone either way with him being a lesser Titan of the pantheon or just their…  /sunglasses Star Intern. YEEEEAAAA…

    Q: Are night elves related to trolls in some way?

    A: See issue #5 of the World of Warcraft Official Magazine!

    Low blow, Blizz.  Low blow.  Somehow I expect to flip open the magazine and just find the big words “Yes” in there.  Come on, do we really need to dance around this?  Especially when just further down you state that Pre-Titans there were no night elves but there were trolls.  Do you want us to believe that elves were titan creations too?  Really?  Were there pointy eared stone golems running amuck that got corrupted by the Curse of the Flesh and they just happened to look like the homo sapien to the trolls’ neanderthal?  YES.  ELVES ARE RELATED TO TROLLS.  That simple.  But nooo… you had to pimp your magazine.

    Q: What is the relationship between the Ancients of the Emerald Dream and the loa?

    A: Troll druids visiting the Moonglade have been overheard calling the wisps who reside there loa, just as they refer to Goldrinn, Aviana, and the other returned Ancients as loa. Night elves and tauren have tried to counsel these trolls on “correct” druidic nomenclature, but the trolls thus far have been stuck in their ways.

    This could indicate one of two things. A) Trolls simply have different names for  things, and that includes Ancients, nature spirits, and perhaps even Old Gods. or B) The trolls simply refer to or assume anything supernatural is related to a loa.  “Hey Mr. Troll! This is a lighter.”  “Dat be a powahful loa, mon.”  “No…  it’s a lighter.”  “Loa.”  “Light-er”  “Lo-ah”  You get the drift.  Though if the Ancients are just Loa, like how Goldrinn is also Lo’gosh, does that mean that you can siphon their power away from them and become more powerful like the Drakkari did?  Hmm…

    Q: If trolls are able to regenerate their limbs, why didn’t Zul’jin’s arm grow back?

    A: For the most part, it is the speed at which trolls regenerate that makes them formidable foes. When in balance with the loa of their tribe, they are also able to regrow digits (fingers and toes). Tales abound in troll culture, however, of those blessed by the loa with extraordinary regenerative abilities, such as the ability to regrow limbs and even vital organs lost in battle. The tale of Vula’jin the Void speaks of how he regrew almost his entire body after standing in a pool of shadowflame. But just as the loa can bless, they can also curse; troll children are taught legends of those cursed by the loa, unable to heal even flesh wounds, to instill the proper respect for their patron spirits.

    Really?  Cause the patron spirits seemed pretty keen in Zul’Aman to…  /sunglasses Lend a hand? (That was the last Sunglasses joke. I promise.) I know that this is essentially the voice of god telling us that he didn’t get his arm back because he was cursed by the gods (for defending his people? Going against high elves and humans?  What exactly did Zul’jin do to tick them off exactly?) but would it really be that hard to say that the wound was cauterized before it would grew back so he wouldn’t die of blood loss?  I mean he was only regenerating 5 hp per second (but to be fair, there was nothing the Alliance could do about it.)

    Q: What races were on Azeroth before the coming of the titans?

    A: Besides the elementals, the only known sentient races on Azeroth when the titans’ forces arrived to subdue the Old Gods were the trolls, the race known as “faceless ones,” and the aqir. Due to the Old Gods’ war against the titans, as well as the extensive terraforming that followed the war’s conclusion, records of what races existed before even the Old Gods’ arrival have likely been lost forever.

    See! No night elves!  Just trolls, Aqir and “Faceless Ones”.  Which is slowly become a very broad category actually. We’ve seen faceless ones in Northrend, we’ve seen them in Vashj’ir, and a couple of other places too but they generally differ in appearance.  My only assumption is that a Faceless One is some sort of highly corrupted form created by an Old God, and that each Old God creates slightly different looking Faceless Ones.  The Water-type Faceless Ones are created by the Dark Below, which according to WoWwiki is a plane of monsters and demons possibly below the crust of Azeroth.  This information comes from the Manual of Monsters, one of the Warcraft RPG books, which means it’s worth JACK SQUAT.  *head to desk* Hands up for the folks who think the Dark Below actually being Old God related? Possibly N’zoth?  Yea I thought so.

    Q: What contact, if any, have the tol’vir in Uldum had with the rest of Azeroth over the course of their existence?

    A: Although the systems keeping Uldum hidden from the rest of the world worked flawlessly from the ordering of Azeroth up until the Cataclysm, the tol’vir inside did have some knowledge of what was going on outside their home: many of the titans’ security devices in Uldum were in communication with the other titanic cities (Ulduar, Uldaman, etc.). The Halls of Origination were actually the system that Algalon the Observer intended to activate upon his arrival in Ulduar… which the players prevented from automatically triggering when they sent the “Reply-Code Alpha” signal from Dalaran.

    In case you were wondering what the actual answer to the actual question was, it was ‘No’.  They haven’t had any contact.  You kinda have to infer that from the answer we were given about…  Wait.  Wait wait wait wait WAIT.  Algalon the Observer had the authority to activate the Halls of Origination?  Never mind the stuff about the tol’vir, what was the point of Reply Code Alpha then?  If the titans had entrusted Algalon with the power the re-originate the planet using the Genesis Device – I mean Halls of Origination, then shouldn’t Azeroth not being rebooted been enough of an all clear?  I thought the whole point of that was that Algalon was here to, you know, OBSERVE and then report his findings to the titans along with whether or not the planet needs to be rebooted.  We stop him before he can send his report, so he gives us the all-clear code to send back instead.

    So did we stop Algalon by defeating him and showing him that we don’t need to be rebooted, or did we stop him by sending the signal?  Because one of these answers invalidates the other.  You can’t have your plot cake and eat it too, Blizz.  Don’t make me contact the Red Shirt Guy.

  • Link: Nintendo’s Biggest Jerk?

    Alright, confession time folks.  I never finished Twilight Princess.  *dodges thrown vegetables and a shoe* I know, I know.  To be fair, it wasn’t because it was a bad game or anything.  In fact, I rather enjoyed it gameplay wise.  The story wasn’t bad either.  I really liked Midna.  Still, there was something.  Something that drove me nuts every time I played that game.  For the longest time I couldn’t put my finger on it, but then one day it came to me.  I hate Link.

    Oh yes, Link.  The legendary fantasy hero of the Nintendo that has defended the land of Hyrule for like 20 years now.  Why do I hate him?  Does it have anything to do with my burning hate of generic faceless and voiceless protagonists like Gordon Freeman (who only taunts you with it by somehow managing to get every female he comes in contact with to develop amorous feelings toward him without saying a single bloody word!  Despite the fact that he is obviously out of shape.  Go ahead. Look down in Half Life.  Fat old Freeman can’t even see his toes.)  No, it wasn’t that.  Because this problem is centralized only on Twilight Princess.  So what is it that this mute fairy boy have in that game that he doesn’t in any other Zelda game?

    Well how about a complete lack of any and all emotion?! Annoying little brat doesn’t show the slightest bit of empathy for the majority of the game.  In fact he has three emotions: Default Link (Grimace), Happy Link (slightly upturned scowl), and Surprised Link (Open mouth gaping grimace).  That’s the entire emotional range of this kid.  Heck, he shows more emotion in his wolf form than his human form.  This is what I couldn’t stand in Twilight Princess more than anything!  Even in the worse of circumstances, our “Hero” comes off as a unemotional sadist like so:

    It’s that stupid face that drove me from this game!  That moronic vacant stare that is present in almost every cut scene in the game, regardless of the context in which that scene takes place.  I know that they never want to give Link a voice because that would clash with everyone’s perception of how Link thinks and speaks (Which is NOT a bad idea, considering the utterly painful experience that was Metroid: Other M) but would it kill you to give the kid some personality?  Hannibal Lecter showed more empathy for people than this twerp.

    I suppose it could be worse though.  This is a basic summary of Link’s epic journey on my sister’s play-through of the game:

    Yeesh.

  • Signs and Shrooms

    Mushroom Crop Circle
    This means something. This is important.

    Location: Zangarmarsh, South of Daggerfen Village

    Don’t worry.  The truth is not out there.  There actually is something wrong with your television. Don’t swing away, Merril, because Mel Gibson is nowhere close to this one.  What we got here is just a good ol’ fashion prank by the locals combined with some swamp gas.  No really.  Just because the locals are highly de-evolved aliens and the swamp gas is vapor formed from motes of raw magic-infused primal water does not mean anything supernatural is going on here in the least.  Really.  No, seriously.  You’re not buying this at all, are you?

    Okay fine.  If you were ever wondering if alien kids on alien worlds like to pull the same lame practical jokes we do here, here’s the proof.  A genuine “crop” circle on an alien world.  Designed to spook people and garnish media attention into believing there reaaaally is something lurking beyond the stars (or maybe just beyond the Dark Portal, can you even imagine the boogie man stories that thing is capable of generating?) but it’s probably just some Daggerfen or Sporelings gathering up some shrooms and placing them in a circle (possible doing other things that teenage aliens do with shrooms as well…   Like trading them for recipes and small pets.)

    But maybe, just maybe, there is more to this than we previously thought.  Maybe there is some kind of intelligence life in Zangarmarsh that we have not seen yet (I would think that intelligent life would stand out amongst ogres, mushroom people, lost ones and hippies) that is crafting this circle in means to send a message to the lower life forms.  The circle could represent unity, and the mushroom at the center could represent… um…  mushrooms?

    Yes!  The mushroom is obviously a holy symbol in Zangarmarsh.  Blessed by some Myconidian god that watched over its chosen lands with a spongy fist! (Don’t worry, he’s not that scary, really he is just a Fun-guy! Wakka wakka.)  This circle is not meant to be a crop circle but an alien forged mushroom Virgin Mary appearing before us.  Now the mushrooms on the outside must represent the rest of us, so distance from our fungi lord and separated by a massive swirling vortex!  Wait.  A massive swirling vortex?  Like the Maelstrom?  The one Deathwing just came out of?  Oh my shroom, the “people” of Zangarmarsh worship Deathwing!  This is bad, this is very bad.  Must make an alternative interpretation.  That will fix everything.  Just like it does in the real world.  Umm…  maybe the swirling thing is the TWISTING Nether?  Yea. There we go.

    The Mushroom God resides in the depths of the Twisting Nether. Well, I’m sure there’s nothing…        It’s Kil’jaedan isn’t it?  You have to be kidding me! Is there any form of life in this game that doesn’t worship some kind of evil being?  Heck, even the Naaru can be complete $%^#&#*@s some times with their whole “Those who don’t worship the light will killed” thing and as for the ‘peaceful’ shamanistic worship of the elements? Well, hellooooo Ragnaros.  Don’t you druids think you’re getting out of this either.  Your goddess Elune unleashed the worgen upon the world in the first place as some kind of cosmic joke.  And considering how often these uber-powerful deities. demons and demi-gods are set on causing destruction, I’d like to suggest something to Blizzard.  How about for the next expansion we get an atheist hero class?  Yea!  You could defeat things with the power of science, logic and condescending remarks!

    Wait…  what we’re we talking about again?

  • The Land of Odd Apparently Has a Face

    Apparently, The Land of Odd has a face. Why else would it be on Facebook?  That’s right. No longer does The Land of Odd have a dinky little profile on the FaceyPages (Still updating with every new post), but now it has a full fledge FAN PAGE!  That’s right, without having to “friend” a single soul, you too can now show and share your love of all things weird in Azeroth by simply “liking” (or whatever you kids do these days) The Land of Odd!  The The Land of Odd Fan Page will also update with new updates and anything else I can toss up there.

    Find The Land of Odd on Facebook by clicking HERE or on the Facebook icon at the top of the page.

    P.S.  We’ve switched over our Ratings system for each post to a simple Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down system.  This is mostly because all our ratings were either 5 stars or no stars, so it really didn’t make sense having a range between like or didn’t like (or laughed/Didn’t laugh if you prefer).

  • Flightmaster vs. The Zombies Redux

    Or is a remake?  A retrospective?  I wouldn’t call it a comeback. It’s definitely one of the Re- things that Hollywood loves to do these days.  Anyway, a long time ago, in the distant year of Two-Thousand-and-Eight (It looks so much more epic spelt out like that!), when I was just starting this blog and it had a much longer name (Tales from Oddcraft), I had the fortunate happen-stance of flying over Shattrath City and the exact right time and captured this lovely footage.

    During the Wrath of the Lich King event (Zombies! Zombies! ZOMBIES!), there was mass hysteria and much QQ about the death and destruction unleashed over five days of the Zombie Apocalypse before Putress decided to gather up his Royal Apothecary buddies and cure it (and keep a few notes about it for himself).  Early on in the event, zombies were able to turn several high priority NPCs into hideous monstrosities to wreak untold havoc on their fellow players.  This included Flightmasters.

    Here in this Archival Footage provided by Gnomeregan Gnews, is a small glimpse of what happens when a Flightmaster butts heads with the Scourge War Machine (Spoiler: The Skyguard do not lift a finger to help.)

  • OMGWTFITZSOCUTEBBQ?!

    Daww… iz so cute! Where the #$%&ing $#%* did you come from?

    Location: Orgrimmar Docks, Durotar

    You know what I hate?  Murlocs.  They hunt in swarms, blitzing toward their targets like a group of gigantic amphibious hornets having a bad day, and then tackle, maim and devour you without a second thought.  There are few exceptions to this MO, like the Winterfin tribe of the Borean Tundra, who I am sure are only stayed by the utter confusion by one of the big people being able to communicate with them.  Murlocs are evil because not only are they everywhere and brutishly prone to beating your face in with a pointy stick, but unlike the majority of the ogre population – they are frightfully intelligent as well.  There’s one in the Blasted Lands that has learned to communicate in Orcish (and I assume Common as well)!  They are foul nasty things and I do not like them. At all.

    You know what I love?  BABY MURLOCS!  They are the cutest little things that make the most adorable noises and I want nothing more to hug them all day!  The biggest issue in this entire game is that the only way to get one of these adorable little things to follow you around is to shell out big bucks for one of the very rare murloc eggs that were given away at the 2005 Blizzcon (Current Price: $1500-$2500.) That’s a wee bit out of my price range, but it is still so very tempting to have one of these adorable little things 24/7.  Hm?  Hold on a moment.  Someone’s at the door.  Be right back.

    …Well, that was the man police.  They said I could watch cartoons all day OR fawn over baby murlocs but not both apparently, so they revoked my Man Card.  I should have seen this coming when I started collecting plushies. *shrug*  Anyway, given my aforementioned affinity for infantile murlocs, you can imagine my surprise when I was doing the Orgrimmar cooking daily quest, ‘Clammy Hands’, and when I opened one of these massive clams to pry out its tasty meats, a baby Bluegill murloc appears.  Wait… what?

    In all my years of playing this game and finding weird things in it, I’ve never been so confused as finding a baby murloc in a giant clam off the coast of Durotar.  At first I thought it may have something to do with a rare pet that you could find, but I’m sure this would have been found already through data mining or someone accidentally stumbling upon it.  They don’t even stick around long, so it’s easy to miss them appearing and it’s not like they are in every clam either.  In fact it took me ten minutes of opening clams to get another one to pop out so I could snap the photo for this post.

    Well how about this on top of everything – there are no murlocs to be found anywhere in Durotar!  Where the heck did this thing come from? From its name it seems to be from the Bluegill tribe…  in the Wetlands?!  So apparently, not only do these massive clams sitting on the easterm shore of Kalimdor originate from the western shore of the Eastern Kingdoms, but murlocs lay eggs in them too.  I think.  Does that mean I’ve used murloc eggs to make my enchanting rods?  Oh geeze.  Now I feel all bad.  But I’ve spent way WAY too much time leveling enchanting to just drop it.  Decisions, decisions, decisions…

    But actually this does make some sense.  For one, it explains why you can usually find a good deal of clams near murloc villages.  Two, it explains why you never see murloc nests.  And three, it could potentially explain why murloc eggs are so darn rare ($2500?! Are you serious!?).  But the question remains, how did eggs from a tribe of murlocs in the Wetlands end up in Durotar?  Well that’s actually more of a clam question than a murloc question.  See a clam can mean different things depending on where you’re asking.  It some places, clam can refer to a number of bivalve mollusks and in others it can refer to a specific kind that burrows into the sediment.  Included in the number of mollusks that the term “Clam” can refer to are oysters, mussels, and scallops. (Yes, believe it or not I do perform some manner of research while writing these.  Even if it is just going to WoWpedia and Wikipedia.)

    Now here’s where this gets interesting, while oysters, mussels, and most traditional burrowing clams do not migrate – scallops do.  And while there are no oyster or mussel related items in World of Warcraft, you pickpocket scallop shells from – you guessed it – murlocs.  See how all this is starting to come together?  So if these giant clams are actually scallops, then they could have migrated to Durotar after the murlocs laid their eggs in them.  It would go a great length into explaining how murlocs appear in so many spots across three continents.

    So the question remains, how far-fetched is all of this?  Who the heck would think up this entire ridiculous scheme of migrating scallop/clams that traverse oceans as migratory ships for murloc proliferation?  I dunno…  How about a former marine biologist?

  • The Great Raid Nerf of 4.2

    ATTENTION: This post is a not-for-profit fan based parody. Please support the official QQ.

    Ladies and gentlemen, our very way of life is under attack.  From ruthless and heartless developers who feel that just because content is no longer in its prime, fallen behind the blazing trail of progression, and simply isn’t as relevant as the newer shiny toy that just got delivered, that we should simply open the flood gates and let any and all riff raff of the general gaming populous view said content.

    They want us to believe that not everyone can afford the $12 dollar ticket to see the movie in the real theater and that if they wait long enough that they can see the same movie in some cheapo dollar theater over in some strip mall, and enjoy the same film at a fraction of the cost and effort! Well I am here to say, that’s not how it works in the real world, Blizzard!

    Just because one model of car is one, two or even 20 years older, it does not mean you pay less to own it than you would a brand new model.  No sir.  Maybe in fairy land where things just manifest out of pixie dust, but not in the real world. In this world, no one has a free pass.  And honestly Blizzard, I am shocked.  Shocked, I say.  This comes completely out of left field.

    Why I was riding around on my level 40 epic mount thinking about how before this announcement, I thought you had integrity.  That you believed in your product enough that you could leave the exclusive club that I originally fell in love with.  Now you want to make sure that everybody, regardless of putting in the time and effort, to see the content that otherwise would probably go ignored in favor of random heroics.

    I am flabbergasted, Blizz.  I really am.  So to finish this protest, I would like to turn this post over to the department chair of the raid boss psychology department at Zangarmarsh Community College – Professor Billy T. Ogre.  Billy?

    No, I am never going to get tired of this Ogre.Thank you, Billy.

  • Of Blizzard, and WoW and Really Bad Eggs

    If there is one thing I’ve noticed while going through the new Cataclysm 1 to 60 “experience” (because that’s the only marketing buzz word I can dig out of my brain that can accurately match the amazingly well done revision to the game in my opinion) is that someone at Blizzard – or all of Blizzard – really, REALLY likes pirates.  People like to bicker constantly over who Blizzard favors more: Horde or the Alliance – but really the question should be focused on the age-old battle of pirates and ninjas.  The fact that there are no less than 3 zones that feature pirates heavily, and several subzones that have pirate related quest chains, and as far as I’ve seen there are NO ninja related storylines thus far indicates a huge imbalance on the Pirate/Ninja front.  From a company that likes to tote their supposed focus on “balance,” this is – dare I say it?  A slap in the face!

    I will admit, even as a staunch ninja supporter, I am willingly to indulge in a bit of piratey fun, but come on Blizz!  Would it kill you to put a bit more ninja in the World of Warcraft?  The best we get is a Halloween disguise, the Deviate Delight disguise and a frickin’ sword.  That’s it.  Need I remind the jury that ninja movies out number pirate movies by a fair amount?  It’s not like there’s a lack of stuff to draw from.  Especially when you essentially have a NINJA CLASS in the form of the subtlety and assassin rogues.  But no, instead we get tons of trendy pirate movie references on top of pirate quest chains, pirate cities and pirate zones!

    That’s right, Cataclysm added a bunch of references to movies.  Probably the most blatant being following around Harrison Jones around and doing his grunt work for entire zone (I preferred helping the cat people). But I’m shocked at how many Pirates of the Caribbean references have been snuck into the game.  Most of them fairly easy to miss.  Today I’m only going to talk about the big three I found, but if you’ve spotted more feel free to put them in the comments section, I’m kind of curious to how many I may have overlooked.

    The Obvious

    The most obvious allusion the Pirates of the Caribbean movies comes from the Kelp’thar Forest of Vashj’ir.  Poor Budd Nedreck, the guy can’t catch a break in his money-making schemes.  He wants you to help reclaim some new “shinies” (which every time he says that word I’m reminded of a particular wild child in the Veldt) but sadly, the shinies make anyone who touches them turn into a skeleton.  Sounds familiar.  The best pay off for the quest is what you bring him back to “cure” the curse.  It’s a hammer. Just a hammer to break the shiny.  That has nothing to do with Pirates of the Caribbean, but I must admit, I was in stitches laughing at that.

    The Off the Beaten Path

    Now these references become a bit more interesting.  This one can be somewhat easy to miss if you just rush by and miss some of the emotes that would draw your attention to it, especially since there’s no quest associated with it, although there is one near it.  Just south of Ratchet, along the coast line there is an area where the Northwatch guard has taken control of the former pirate dock.  The Horde will receive a couple of quests here including one that sends you to speak with Baron Longshore, who is comfortably sitting in a locked cage.  However, sitting near the Baron is another group of Southsea Freebooters that will eventually speak to a nearby dog named Charlie. If you look closely, you’ll see that Charlie is holding what appears to be a key in his mouth.

    Anyone who is familiar with either the Pirates of the Caribbean movies or ride will instantly recognize this famous scene of pirates attempting to lure a dog with keys with a bone, but it’s easy to miss if you don’t catch one of the occasional pirate emotes or saying something to try to lure Charlie in.  However, I question the logic of leaving the key with this dog.  This isn’t a jail. It’s an open area on the coast of a highly contested area between the Horde and the Alliance, not to mention the goblins of Ratchet and the Southsea Freebooters.

    Having a random animal carry your key seems like a terrible idea.  Even if you train it well enough to not run off into the Barrens sunset, you’ve stuck the poor animal in an area where there’s massive amounts of bloodshed in a zone known for its copious number of hunting quests.  Honestly, it’s not like it would hurt to put the keys on a peg on the wall.  It would actually be better.  1) It would sit further away from the cage.  2) IT WON’T RUN AWAY AT THE FIRST WHIFF OF STEAK.

    The One and Only Chance

    No, I don't want to know what pirates do with sheep on their ships.

    This last one is named as such because there’s only a small opening to see this pirate reference before its gone forever.  Namely because it only shows up during a phased event during the Booty Bay quest line to infiltrate the Bloodsail Buccaneers (I am just now noticing how fond pirates seem to be of alliteration). At the end of the chain, the Bloodsail will wage an all out attack on Booty Bay in trying to claim the town for their own once and for all, during this time the Bloodsail and their allies will be running amok all along the streets.

    However, a trio of musical worgen will be sitting on the roof of the first large building in Booty Bay (The one they sell parrots and weapons in.  Cause you know, those go well together.)  These worgen will sit on the roof and sing their own wolfy rendition of ‘A Pirate’s Life for Me.’  It’s actually pretty funny and got me to sit there and listen as the pirates ransack the city.  Perhaps that was their plan all along.  A musical distraction so they can plunder freely…

    You know when I say that out loud it seems rather silly.  But how I can possibly argue against it when it worked!  I sat through the entire thing!  I waited to see if the next time was really just a repeat or a second verse!  All the while Bloodsail pirates are running around me, attacking semi-innocent goblins, and creating mayhem.  So there you go.  Next time you’re in a raid, you don’t need an off tank, just a drunk bard belting out some garbled incantation to the approximate tune of ‘It’s a Small World After All.’

    So there are three quick references to the ever-expanding-and-me-growing-less-and-less-interested-in Pirates of the Caribbean movies (I still like the ride).  Maybe once we find them all, Blizzard will finally dig up some ninja and kung fu references to splice into their game world.  Master Betty Pain, anyone?

  • Of Boxes and Esoteric Quotes

    While questing in the Blasted Lands the other day, I happened upon a quest where you have to sneak past the Alliance in a wooden box.  And by sneak, I mean just walk past while they gawk at you.  They didn’t seem to have the slightest inclination to believe a box moving on its own was anything to be suspicious or worried about.  I though that was weird.  I thought it was REALLY weird when they didn’t even notice the fact that A SINGING DANCING FLOWER WAS FOLLOWING THE BOX AROUND. /headdesk

    Runner up quote was: “It was my destiny to be here – in the box – and then when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can’t put it into words. I feel… safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I’d found the key to true happiness.”

  • Drama Belongs to the Forsaken!

    Image by Daily Blink. Click to see the full sized version at TheDailyBlink.comIf there is one thing that’s got the Alliance and the Horde talking during Cataclysm it has to be the Forsaken.  The verdict is more or less in on some of the other major shake ups: No one likes Garrosh, everyone tolerates Variann, and no one is happy about losing Cairne.  The Forsaken on the other hand are still a constant debate.  Have they gone evil?  Will Sylvanas be the next Kael’thas?  Do the ends justify the means?  All very good questions on how this whole situation is shaking down.

    I just finished all the Lordaeron quests (Tirisfal/Silverpine/Hillsbrad/Plaguelands) and I have to say – Sylvanas doesn’t really strike me as “evil”.  Disobedient and delusional maybe. But certainly not evil.  The big thing here is that Sylvanas quite clearly adheres the motto “the end justifies the means” and is quite open to any and all solutions to get the job done.  Including using the New Plague to ensure victory, and employing the Lich King’s creations to help repopulate your dwindling armies – because let’s be honest here. The Forsaken are not a “race,” they are the Banshee Queen’s private army.  They’re raised in service to Sylvanas, they cannot reproduce and they eventually all succumb to becoming mindless zombies.  The ONLY reason Sylvanas has a reason to continue to raise more from the dead is to pad out the numbers of bodies she can hurl at her opponents.  She is a brutal tactician who we have seen several times over has no issue disposing of even her closest allies if they stand in her way or betray her.

    Which is why I think that Sylvanas isn’t lying to the orphan during the Children Week quest.  While she make think that Garrosh is an idiot, She – like Vol’jin – has no reason to betray the Horde. Or at least not yet.  Garrosh called her out on using the Val’kyr but did not forbid it and while he did forbid the use of the New Plague, no one has stepped up to call her out and showering Gilneas and Southshore with the stuff (Despite speculation that Garrosh knows it’s happening).  I think the big line that is preventing the Forsaken from splintering from the Horde is that the Horde is fully willing to give control of Lordaeron to the Forsaken and the Banshee Queen. Which is only that they apparently want at this point. Granted, it’s easy to speculate where the lust of power can lead Sylvanas and her people, but at least she didn’t succumb to worthlessness after claiming her vengeance like Maiev (who for all we know is still sitting on Illidan’s rotting corpse to make sure it doesn’t run off.)

    Still the choices she’s making are not the smartest ones.  Breaking orders, making pacts with creatures created by your enemies (Especially foolish considering how many demon lords have stabbed her in the back), and forceful purging your subordinates of emotion are historically all things that in good drama tend to come back to bite you in the end.  I think the big turning point in the entire story of the Forsaken in Cataclysm will be the fate of Koltira Deathweaver.

    Koltira is an example of one of my tropes in fiction – the noble dark knight. He knows he serves the Horde, but has respect for his Alliance opponent.  He believes in strategy and mercy over brute force and savagery.  He is level-headed, neither quick to anger nor impatient.  This unfortunately makes him less useful in the eyes of Sylvanas Windrunner.  So after claiming Andorhal for the Horde, Koltira is hauled off to “beneath the Undercity” to essentially be reprogrammed to be more in line with Sylvanas’ wishes. Namely, purging him of all those problematic emotions and turning him into the perfect, loyal, tactical, killing machine for the Forsaken.

    The problem with that plan however may be the fact that without those pesky emotions that Sylvanas wants beaten out of poor Koltira, his priorities may be shifted along with it.  Naïve and sympathetic concepts like “loyalty” may not mean much to New Koltira, and now Sylvanas has two unpredictable elements that formerly served the Lich King in her employ.  Honestly, I think Koltira and the Val’kyr stand a good chance of betraying Sylvanas and putting her in a rather rough situation.  She has full force put her blind faith in the power of the Val’kyr and she has probably turned one of her best assets into an emotionless harbinger of death.  Considering Blizz was eager to tease the plotline that resulted in Zul’Gurub returning as a 5-man in the new low-level Stranglethorn Vale quests, I think it’s well within the possibility to see Koltira and the Val’kyr becoming a new heroic dungeon in the future.

    After all that, Sylvanas might start reconsidering some of her bold choices since returning from Northrend.  That’s my guess anyway.