VRYKERION

  • I’ll Maly Your Gos…

    So I recently finished up my Champion of the Frozen Wastes by killing the hardest boss to do in the game: Malygos.  Harder than Heroic Lich King you ask?  Yes.  Why?  Because at least people are trying to do Heroic Lich King.  The only time any one ever bothers with Eye of Eternity is when it’s the weekly, which on my realm has happened a record TWICE.  So it became an imperative that I go and kill Maly this week, or else possibly lose my chance at Champion of the Frozen Wastes forever.  But during my arduous journey to find a pug that can actually down Malygos on not one but two seperate characters, I learned some things that may help you when it comes to downing the big blue meanie.

    #1: HAVE A KEY

    This is apparently a fact that somehow got lost in the shuffle when tier 7 was swept under the carpet for quick dungeon runs for massive amounts of triumph badges. Yes, Virginia,  this expansion did have one raid that required an attunement.  It wasn’t a brutal one either.  Just kill Sapphiron in Naxx and have someone loot the stupid thing.  And yet, since having a key for something was such an abstract and distant thought in Wrath of the Lich King, I ran into a good deal of pugs that simply did not have and didn’t even ask if anyone did have a key to the Eye of Eternity.  Which tended to lead to half the raid dropping out and the remnants scavenging trade for a few loose bodies to go kill Sapph for the key before trying to reinforce the raid again to go back after Malygos.  Fortunately, at least my shaman actually has the key, so it wasn’t an issue and even a boon towards getting a group.  Which leads me to point 2…

    #2: IF YOU HAVE A KEY, DON’T HEAD TO NAXX

    You put a raid together under the banner of ‘LFM Weekly [Malygos Must Die!]’ and then summon me to Naxxramas? I guess by Friday, a week of pugs not having a key has generated the assumption  that absolutely no one had the key, and that a Naxx run was the default precursor to the actual raid you signed on to.  But when someone, in this case ME, announces they have the key and we can just skip straight to Malygos, the proper response from the raid leader should not be: “Well, I still want the key.”  Which immediately raises all kinds of paranoid thoughts about how dubious the looting of Sapphiron could actually go and if it would risk the structure of the 10 impatient people that are jumping through hoops for 10 emblems.  If someone has the key, just go the Malygos and save everyone the headache.

    #3: PHASE THE THIRD

    For some reason, there seemed to be a lot of issues with the third phase of the fight.  That’s the part where the floor shatters for no reason and then the red dragons come and help you while Malygos acts like he’s Sherlock Holmes cracking the case when all he’s really done is put 2 and 2 together.  You know those people who will just drop out of the Oculus as soon as they see the loading screen and spend all their time in trade yaking about how vehicles are the worst things ever to happen to WoW (Which makes them the 3,472nd ‘worst thing to happen to WoW’ right behind ‘Death Knights’ and just before ‘Casuals’) , well this is the fight they hate and don’t want to bother learning how to do.  Chances are, you’re raiding with at least 3 of them (7 of them if you are in the 25 man).  So to make things a bit smoother, from my observations I’ve found that there are 2 ways to go about phase 3:

    Method A: Stay grouped up tight around a single target. Probably the tank.  Healers can then use their bursts to keep everyone solid while the dps burns down Maly.  When the big spark shows up, move as a group either left or right (predetermined, not on the spot) and continue the cycle of killing and healing.  The downside of this technique is that requires that everyone be on board with it – if one healer goes left and the other goes right, well that’s no good – and it requires a bit of fore thought.  The person to group up on must be recognized as such, there are decisions to be made, and it requires everyone to keep their cool and stick to the plan.  While it does leave a wide margin of error, when properly executed phase 3 will but sliced through like a hot bastard sword in a tub of margarine.

    Method B: I affectionately dubbed this technique the ‘Screw it, watch your own butt’ method.  Mostly because it requires you to ignore everyone else and just watch your ass for the whole of phase 3. This is especially good for the people who are familiar with the Aces High daily quest, because it’s essentially doing the same thing.  Keep stacking combo points and DoTs on Maly, heal yourself when necessary, and throw the shield up when you are about the get blasted.  This technique surprisingly works and requires zero coordination or group effort.  The onus is on the individuals to act accordingly and bring the blue meanie down.  It can take a little longer than Method A, so you’ll want to burn through the first two phases at a brisk pace for it, but the fun comes when you see people die and no that it’s no ones fault but their own.  Which is a rare feeling to get in a raid.  Which makes it twice as satisfying.

    So there are my tips for having a semi-stress free Malygos pug.  Will this guarantee you victory?  Heck no.  Especially if you’re in a pug that is in T9/T10 armor and still hitting phase 3 with only a minute or two left for the enrage.  Then you’re probably just boned.  However, with these not so handy but very dandy (so I think it balances out) tips, you’ll be able to generate the appearance of competence all on your own.  Oh, and one last thing: Mages,  the raid is one fight, and as much as I appreciate the thought, a mage table is completely pointless here.  Don’t summon one.  It makes you look silly.

  • Let Loose the Worgs of War!

    Do you think we're supposed to salute or wag our tails?

    Where? The Burning Steppes

    You ever notice that there’s always been a strong association with fighting and dogs?  And I don’t mean in the abusive illegal Michael Vick kind of way (See that? That’s topical humor right there. Well, for me at least). But on an Alliance quest in the heart of the Burning Steppes, you are given the task of collecting 50 (Yup. Fifty.) Blackrock Medallions from the orcs of the Blackrock clan around the area.  Sounded pretty simple, so I head off and start whacking orcs left and right.  But then there’s also these worgs that the orcs have around, and you won’t believe it, they drop the medals too.  The hell?

    So are the worgs part of the Blackrock forces?  I mean, I know that they are the pets of the Blackrock clan and are used as guard dogs or sentries and often follow around the orcs to assist in battle much as a hunter’s pet would, but are these medals to indicate that the beasts actual hold some manner of rank?  Is there a separate chain of command for the worgs?  Do the newbie orcs and wolves start out in the same place?  I can imagine the boot camp must have been pretty dog eat dog (/rimshot).  It kind of makes me wonder about promotions.  Do you think a worg could ever become an officer?  I can only imagine there’s a pretty harsh concrete ceiling to military ranks for canines.  However, seeing General Spuds MacKenzie delivering a speech to a mountain full of orcs is an awesome mental image.

    I suppose the other possibility would be that the worgs actually started eating the orcs and thus would have the medals, but I really can’t see the orcs continuing to use animals that would routinely just eat them.  Seems slightly counter productive in my opinion. I mean, orcs aren’t stupid.  Ogres maybe, but certainly not orcs.  So the medals have to be for the worgs (granted, that idea doesn’t help my previously stated case that orcs aren’t stupid) but what were they for?  Did the worgs see some action and earn the medals?  Maybe there was an all wolf platoon during the Second War.  A down and dirty group of dogs of war that fought in the trenches with their orc allies to end the Alliance’s tyranny of…  um… giving the table scraps to the cats?  Humans do seem to have a pretty strong cat theme going, whether it’s Stormwind or Dalaran, there are cats to be found.  So maybe that’s why the worgs signed on with the Blackrock orcs?

    Okay, but how long does a worg live?  The Second War (the last time the Blackrock’s actually participated in a war) was years ago, these have got to be some pretty old dogs. You think they all sit around, play cards, and drink toilet water, while swapping old war stories around a fold up card table on Thursday nights? Maybe they sit on park benches around the desolate and flaming landscape under the shadow of Blackrock Mountain talking about how their generation had real discipline and knew the value of hard work and these young pups just sit around in their Spire, listening to their hip hop and walking around in circles doing nothing.

    Ultimately, I think this about treating the dogs as equal to the other orcs.  Something that Genn Greymane probably would have approved of, before he kind of became part doggy himself.  Hey! There ya go, Genn!  Forget the Alliance that you /gquit all those years ago and join up with the Blackrock Orcs!  They hate the Horde (The New Horde at least, beggars can’t be choosers) and I hear their boss is coming back soon.  It’s the perfect opportunity for you!  They like to be mean and nasty to things they don’t like too!  So then we’ll have a worg platoon, and the worgen platoon, and they can all chase the cats up trees together!  It might even prevent the worgen from becoming the most overplayed race since Blood Elves!

    …ah, who am I kidding? /rolls worgen.

  • Warchief Election: Sticks and Orcs (and Mary Sues)

    Welcome one and all, back to the Warchief Election Debates! This week we settle the war of the pacifists. Two great advocates for diplomacy, understanding, and utter optimists when it comes to people of all races and origins… oh and Richard Knaak is here too. I’m sure he’ll have something to say about something. Anyway, besides Richard, we have our two leaders in the current polls: Thrall, the current warchief, and Basic Campfire, the people’s favorite, have come down here tonight to participate in this most epic debate.

    As with last time we had Basic Campfire here, we’ve brought in former majordomo Executus to translate from firespeak. Welcome back to the blog, Executus. Also tonight’s sponsor for the debate is the Consortium, offering you quality everything at a what recent polls have stated is a decent price. Seriously? We’re getting sponsored by the Consortium? What’s next the Venture Company? By the titans, what happened to standards… What? We’re still on? Oh Fuuuueeellow members of the Horde, let’s start, shall we?

    Question 1: Both of tonight’s candidates-

    Richard Knaak: Excuse me! Um… Yes, There are three of us up here.

    Sorry. The majority of tonight’s candidates are strong advocates for both diplomacy and peace in Azeroth. What can you say that would convince voters to choose you over your opponent… or Richard.

    Basic Campfire (Translated from Firespeak): <The key to great diplomacy is having all the correct ingredients.  You need fresh ideas, a crisp and clean perspective, and a rich flavorful background of experiences.  I have spent time with any citizen of every faction who decided to take a single cooking lesson.  I have steamed fish with the Tuskarr, I have baked pie with the Alliance, and I have simmered sausage with the Goblins.  After all, all living things have the need to eat, and I have been there to provide them with that.  I doubt any of my competitors could make such a claim.>

    Richard Knaak: Well in my experience-

    Thrall: No offense, Campfire, but by those rigid standards, a fork is just as qualified to participate in peace talks.  What is needed is compassion.  I must call you on this Campfire and I apologize for it.  You help to feed all these people, because they call upon you to do it.  You are at their beck and call and while you may enjoy it, you are not actively choosing to do it.  This is not volunteering, this is pleasurable servitude, and it is certainly not compassion.  What is compassion?  Seeking peace and understanding between the factions, to and beyond the point that your own people are calling your actions near treasonous.  Where the tabloids assume you must be having some illicit affair because you engage in talks with the “enemy” that concern the fate of every living thing on the planet.  That is what I have done.  I have risked every morsel of my reputation and dignity on peace and not questioned it once.

    Richard Knaak: Well that’s interesting because when I created-

    Basic Campfire: <Thrall, allow me to disagree with your blatant attempts to cast yourself as some kind of messianic figure. Saying that the intent and risk is the important point in creating peace and dipolmacy, and I’m saying that’s just a bunch of steam.  You can garnish the topic with all the trimmings you want, but it comes down to the meat and potatoes: Is it helping?  If nothing else I can say that I’ve fed millions.  What can you say about your “compassion” and “sacrifices”?  That’s like saying all you need to boil water is water and wanting it to be hot! So you define compassion as having personal risk in the pursuit of helping others?  Well, let’s cut to the cheese here, I am a campfire.  When I cook for these people, I am set ablaze and burn for their food.>

    Richard Knaak: Wait…  you aren’t always a campfire?  What stage in your life are you just logs?  Is that like limbo, or like an infant or something?

    Basic Campfire: <I find that comment racist, sir.>

    Thrall: No, the human has a point. I’m curious about this too.  Are you a campfire or are you logs that are being set on fire?

    Basic Campfire: Crackle crackle pop crackle roar crackle pop!

    Ahem, sorry about that folks, Executus has informed me that we may be facing fines if he translated what Basic Campfire just said.  Wait.  What fines? This is the internet!  Translate that!

    Basic Campfire: <Why don’t you just put yourselves out!>

    Executus…  What exactly was offensive about that? You seriously suck at this job.  Anyway, while hoping to maintain a civil tone here, let’s move on to question 2.

    Question 2: times are getting tough, with big goblin cartels taking business from small horde companies and the war in Northrend consuming way more of the Horde’s resources than planned, what would you do to secure the jobs and financial stability of the Horde?

    Thrall: As warchief, I have set forth a number of initiatives that will be available soon to create new jobs for the Horde.  Including allocating a fund to help start a small archeology school in Orgrimmar, and investing in a new technology that will allow the brave heroes of the Horde to “reforge” their equipment.  Both of those should provide an ample amount of new jobs for the Horde.  We’ve also been in talks with some members of the Bilgewater Cartel, in hopes that it will provide us an “in” to discussing ways to protect both Horde and goblin interests with all of the cartels.

    Basic Campfire: <So your method of sizzling the economy is the burn the tax payer’s money?  The ideal method of solving this issue to bring the broth of personal responsibility to a boil and slowly mix in opportunity.  Once the good people of the Horde acknowledge that is just as much their own duty to worry about the economy as it is the warchief’s, we can began to reward individuals who are willing to do their part with tax breaks.  Not to increase taxes across the board in order to fund some undercooked “reforge” idea.>

    Thrall: So your suggestion is that people just toughen up when it comes to the goblin cartels running them out of business?  Individual responsibility should be rewarded, but individual responsibility is not strong enough to battle a strong business presence like the goblin cartels.  The warchief has a duty to all, even in financial matters.

    Basic Campfire: <I never suggested that people should simply toughen up against the cartels, because in my opinion the cartels have no business interfering with Horde businesses.  I would rather see the warchief spend their time working to strictly limit or completely cut off the goblin cartels from the Horde.  The Trade Princes have shown time and time again that they have no regard for the rights or concerns of other businesses, or even their customers.  That kind of overbearing and ruthless business presence is better cut off and put in with the scraps.>

    Richard Knaak: Well, what I would do is send a charismatic and slightly misunderstood orc with a destiny even he doesn’t fully understand to go to Kezan and negotiate with the goblins to get them to ease off on hostile trade relations with the Horde.

    Basic Campfire: <What happens if your plan doesn’t work?>

    Richard Knaak: What do you mean?  I don’t understand the question.

    Thrall: And what happens if this representative  of yours is fails to convince the goblins to do that?

    Richard Knaak: I’m not sure I follow, what do you mean if my representative fails?  My people NEVER fail.  They are fail proof.

    Thrall: …

    Basic Campfire: <…>

    And on that awkward silence, I’d like to end tonight’s debates.  Thank you gentlemen… and Richard – for an exciting and informatitive evening.  I’m sure everyone at home is buzzing with discussions between themselves over who they should cast their vote for now.  Once again, this debate was sponsered by the Consortium, your source for everything that you can buy and some things you can’t. I would like to thank our translator former Majordomo Executus and be sure to tune into the next Warchief debate where Garrosh and Sylvanas face off in a battle of hopefully just words, and hey maybe Richard will be there too.  Richard, wanna come to another debate?

    Richard Knaak: I don’t deserve this mockery.

    That’s a yes.  See you next time folks!

  • The Ultimate Showdown: Thrall vs. Sylvanas

    Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the one of the most anticipated events in the Warchief debates.  Sylvanas Windrunner, the Banshee Queen of the Forsaken, ruler of the Undercity, and a former Ranger General of Silvermoon, going up against the current Warchief,  he united the new Horde, was the chosen successor of Orgrim Doomhammer himself, and the orc with no last name: Thrall.

    They’ve come here tonight to lay the issues on the line and engage in verbal combat for the coveted title of warchief. Like every night on the campaign trail, this can make or break a candidate for many.  Since we have a number of questions to get through and very little time (the Sen’jin Headhunters are playing the Undercity Grave Diggers after this), candidates to your podiums please…   and LET’S GET READY TO DEEEEEBAAAATE!

    Question 1: Some have said that a Fourth War may be on the horizon between the Alliance and the Horde, would you agree with this idea? What would you say to ease the minds of the people or rally them for the coming battle?

    THRALL: There are many who would sensationalized the actions of the Horde and Alliance and would view us heading towards each other in a devastating collision.  However, these situations are isolated and blown out of proportion by many.  For instance, the situation in Icecrown has led to a number of bouts of combat between the Horde and the Alliance, but it has actually been mostly a territorial dispute and a pointless one at that.  That is why I pledged my support to Tirion Fordring for his efforts to unite us to a common goal.  The risk of war, in my opinion, is overblown.

    SYLVANAS: You’re blind, Thrall.  You always have been.  You trusted that Proudmoore would uphold the truce in Kalimdor, yet Kul Tiras’ forces stand defiantly in your own yard.  You trusted Garrosh to handle the situation in Northrend, and he has done nothing more than senselessly slaughter anything without a horde tabard on its chest.  You would tell yourself that this battle isn’t coming, but the dogs of war are closing in around you, Warchief.  Your attitude of frivolous optimism has all but sealed the Horde’s fate.  That is why we can no longer put our trust in those who could turn at a moments notice.  Unlike you, I learned my lesson from the Battle of the Undercity.  No more Putresses, no more Varimathrases and no more Proudmoores.

    THRALL: So you would condemn the innocent simply because…

    SYLVANAS: Because of what, Thrall?  Because they serve the Alliance?  Those who wanted you dead on the spot back in my throne room?  The blood elves are our allies, the tauren are our allies, the Alliance are NOT. So yes, Thrall, I would condemn the innocent just because they are my enemy.  That is what it means to be enemies. It means I draw the line when it comes to bedding with the enemy.

    THRALL: I will not stand for such insinuations!

    SYLVANAS: Why?  Are you still sore because she calls Wrynn “Her King” instead of you?

    THRALL: Enough! Casting me as a villain will not help your argument any, Sylvanas.  Need I remind you that my trust goes both ways.  Was it not I that trusted your word that the Undercity was taken by a coup? Did I not urge the tauren to trust the Forsaken enough to bring them into the Horde?

    SYLVANAS: You think that exonerates you from allowing our defenses to lapse and creating discord amongst your people?  There is a reason they are willing to elect a burning pile of logs instead of you or Garrosh, Thrall. The war is coming, Warchief.

    THRALL: I can’t tell if I’m listening to the words of the Banshee Queen or Garrosh! If war is coming, our actions should be to quickly diffuse it instead of ramping up our armaments and encourage the conflict.  If peace can not be established, then there will always be a war coming.  A fifth war, and a sixth war, until either side is completely dead and gone.  And regardless of what you think of the Alliance or the living, Sylvanas, if either faction is wiped from the face of Azeroth, the world will be lesser for it.

    Question 2: After the Battle for the Undercity, the Kor’kron guard have taken up duties in the Undercity. This has raised a lot of concerns about personal freedoms and individual autonomy of the factions of the Horde.  What is your stance on sacrificing for the greater cause?

    SYLVANAS: The Kor’kron have been an insult to the halls of the Undercity.  There was no need for them there, as the Undercity’s guards had handled everything fine up until.  The arrival of the Kor’kron forces have done nothing more than made the forsaken prisoners in their own city.  Does it call into question how autonomous each race of the Horde is? Absolutely.  When the forsaken aided the sin’dorei in their attempts to reclaim the Ghostlands, we did not set up camp in Silvermoon.  We did not replace their guards.  We did not exert control.  So what the orcs are doing in the Undercity is beyond uncalled for.  It’s almost worse than the crime we are apparently being punished for.

    THRALL: Sylvanas, I am shocked.  This is the first I am hearing of this from you. I stationed the Kor’kron there for the safety of the forsaken.  I thought it best after King Wrynn’s declaration of wanting to seize the city back that there would reason enough to reinforce the Undercity.  At no point did Bragor attempt to refuse your right as Queen.  At no point did I say that you were not free to govern your people how you saw fit.  There is no loss of freedom to be found.  Simply helping our friends remain safe.  I think these thoughts of replacing you are simply that – thoughts.

    SYLVANAS: Safe, Thrall? For years, the forsaken have held off the Scarlet Crusade from the east and the Alliance from the south.  Not once during the attacks of Tarren Mill did you raise your voice about safety.  You never batted an eye when the Scarlet Crusade began to fortify their monastery and started lynching my people from the trees!  The only time you ever cared about the safety of the forsaken or the security of the Undercity is after an attempted coup from within.  So I find it hard to chock it up to simple ‘paranoia’ when I see your personal guard watching my people closer than the doors to the city.  As for the question of sacrificing for the greater cause, I think it entirely depends on what we are sacrificing.  Our autonomy as individual races being united as a Horde is what sets us apart from the Alliance, who are just that, an Alliance.  They all have equal say in their little band except for Varian who sits at the head of the whole beast and does all the barking.  No one sees the blood elves or tauren do something and instantly thinks that’s the actions of the entire Horde.

    THRALL: If we are not united, then we are nothing but Horde in name.  Even the Old Horde had united together towards a common goal.  While yes, that goal was war, they did sacrifice some of their clan’s autonomy to do it.  When Doomhammer made me the warchief of the New Horde, I did what I could to abolish those old mentalities of divided clans.  I don’t see why the same would not work amongst the different races.

    SYLVANAS: So you suppose we just mimic the Alliance, with you as the barking head?  Or are you suggesting the racial leaders found some Shadow Council of our own and rule the Horde?

    THRALL: Your putting words in my mouth.  I’m simply saying that if it serves the greater good and betters the Horde, we should consider it.  I wouldn’t remove anything from the table unless I was sure that we could do without.

    Question 3: What do you think is the greatest weakness the Horde has at the moment?

    THRALL: We are a young lot.  We don’t have much of the wisdom that many of the elders possess.  I can only wish that I can understand as much as Drek’thar or Cairne when I reach their age.  I wholeheartedly think that our youth is our greatest weakness.  We are bold headed and closed minded because of it.  If you look at most of the problems the Horde face, and issues people have with much of the Horde’s leadership stem from the fact that their mindset and viewpoint is that of youth.

    SYLVANAS: How fortunate that a young pup like you is exempt from the follies of youth.  Who exactly are you talking about with that statement?  Both I and the council that leads the Blood Elves are well over 100 years old and you defend the wisdom of Bloodhoof, so who I wonder could you be talking about?

    THRALL: Age is more than just the years one has walked on the earth, Sylvanas.

    SYLVANAS: Fine, keep your greeting card messages.  But in my opinion, the greatest weakness of the Horde is the inability to act decisively.  We either rush into things weapons drawn like your pathetic apprentice, Garrosh, or we sit and deliberate and talk until we are all doomed by indecision.  When the Undercity fell, we identified the problem and we acted to remove it.  It was a success.  The fact that something that efficient doesn’t happen more often is the greatest weakness of the Horde.

    Question 4: Our final question of the evening comes from Brigwyn.  He asks: Dwarves or Humans, who do you trust more and why?

    SYLVANAS: Dwarves.  Definitely dwarves.  Humans are swollen with pride and love for themselves.  They think themselves superior to others for no reason.  Dwarves, in my experience, are relatively realistic in their views of themselves.  They were divided during a war, not by racial lines or other petty reasons, but by political ideologies.  As someone who broke away from a tyrannical faction out of ‘ideological reasons’ I can respect that decision, even if they serve the Alliance.

    THRALL: You’ve let a few humans cloud your judgement of all of them, Sylvanas.

    SYLVANAS: I could say the same for you, Warchief.

    THRALL: On the contrary, don’t forget that I was raised by humans.  I have seen with my own two eyes that humans are amazingly diverse in any way you can be different.  Even within their own ‘clans’ they have many different people with different view points.  Almost as if every person was their own ‘clan.’  And yet they still all work together towards a goal.  It’s amazing really.  When I was discussing the differences between arcane magic and shamanism with Jaina…

    SYLVANAS: I’ve had enough of this, Thrall.  What is the deal with you and Jaina?

    THRALL: What?  What do you mean?

    SYLVANAS: Don’t try to avoid the issue.  You know what everyone says about you and Jaina, I even got the better of your temper earlier by mentioning that little human witch.  So what exactly is your relationship with her?

    THRALL: Fine.  If you must know.  Jaina and I are-

    Oh, so sorry there Thrall, but we’ve run out of time for this debate.  The game is just starting and I know the Dark Lady doesn’t ever miss a game when the Grave Diggers are playing.  However I think we’ve answered a lot of questions that people may have had. Next time we’ve got Richard Knaak, Basic Campfire, and Thrall squaring off in a three way debate that will show us once and for all who has the humanitarian skills to pull of being Warchief.  The incumbent warchief or a pile of logs that have been set on fire (and maybe Knaak will say something we can all laugh at). Keep it here at Oddcraft.net for all your Warchief Election coverage!

  • The Implications of Holy Power

    Well, since I plan on rolling a paladin of the large cow variety when Cataclysm drops, I’ve actually been keeping an eye on what the developers have been doing with the paladin class.  Oddly enough, I have paid no attention to any of the classes that I actually play at the moment (Something about Death Knight’s being less OP and more OP at the same time? I think?  Maybe?), but what caught my attention was this weird little secondary resources that the paladins are getting called ‘Holy Power’ and it’s apparently the star of the masquerade. But between the velvet lies, there’s a truth that’s hard as steel. Paladin’s getting Holy Power has far ranging implications.

    Namely, what the heck does this say about Priests?  You know, the original holy rollers?  Is this meant to be some kind of shun from the Holy Light for some of them choosing to dip their fingers in the pudding of shadow magic?  The simple fact is that the paladins, a militant class of light worshippers that have just as much of a tendency to smash your head with a hammer as bless you with a heal, (Lawful Good, my ass) are being given preference in the Church of the Holy Light.   What does that say about the Light’s preference in worshippers?

    Not exactly shocking consider some of the speculation surrounding the naaru and their teachings about the Light in Shattrath.  How about the Light worshipping arrakoa that were “redeemed” by the naaru and spout stuff like “Those who have not given themselves over to the Light are mere servants of evil.” Meanwhile, the priests who choose to use holy magic to heal others and shadow magic to damage others are getting boned.  You would immediately think that obviously since they are using shadow magic and not the given blessings of the Holy Light, that must be why they are getting shafted, but what about the Tauren?  They don’t worship the Holy Light at all.  They are sun worshippers.  While you could surely argue a potato-potahto argument here about how they actually are worshipping the Holy Light and they just think it’s the sun, I would like to see you pull that point off and try to tell the night elves that Elune is also the Holy Light just under another name and then watch as Tyrande feeds you to her tiger (those backwards thinking kal’dorei).

    If you want to take that line of thought further, the Naaru (physical embodiments of holy energy mind you) are big promoters of the idea of a duality of light and dark.  That as long as one exists, so must the other and that without each other, their opposite would cease to exist. Of course, this is utter semantic hogwash.  If there was no darkness, there would only be light. We just wouldn’t need words for them because they wouldn’t need to be differentiated as one didn’t exist. Confused? Think of the movie, ‘The Invention of Lying’ where everyone always tells the truth. They have no word for ‘lying’ or ‘truth’ because those concepts don’t exist.  Same idea.

    So based on that line of thought, using Shadow magic is still promoting the dichotomy and thus reinforcing the existence of both light and dark and can still technically be viewed as worshiping the Holy Light in some fashion.  So why in the world are the paladins the one’s getting preferential treatment from their deity of choice?  Well, isn’t obvious?

    Paladins are OP. Duh.

  • Warchief Election: Debate Night Smackdown

    Welcome one and all to the Warchief election debates.  Tonight will be watching the debate between two of the heavyweights of the debate square off in a verbal arena of mayhem that was only thought possible with the advent of cutting edge 3D imaging technology now brought to you not only in 2D but also in text form. Yes, we at OddCraft are just that good.  Now allow me to introduce the distinguished candidates that will be participating in tonight’s debate.  Weighing in at 375 pounds, the Nightmare from Nagrand, the Beast of Borean, GARROSH HELLSCREAM!

    At the opposite podium, at 13 lbs, 16 if you include the ashes, the Titan of Temperature and current front-runner in the polls, please welcome: BASIC CAMPFIRE!  Because Basic Campfire is a fire and not an actual living breathing person, we have invited the former majordomo of Ragnaros, Executus, to be our translator from firespeak to Orcish.

    QUESTION: There has been a lot of conflict with the Alliance over the years, from Warsong Gulch to the Eye of the Storm.  But the Northrend Campaign seems to have increased that conflict quite a bit with the Isle of Conquest, Strand of the Ancients, Wintergrasp Forest, Grizzly Hills and the incidents across Icecrown, what are your plans for decreasing the loss of Horde lives in these conflicts?

    BASIC CAMPFIRE (Translated from Firespeak): <It is true that there has been a rising trend in conflict with the Alliance.  And while some have contributed more to that trend than others, I would like to think that as a faction we are ready to move past these rotten ways and on to the fresh fruit of peace.  After all, there is nothing that says the Alliance peanut butter and the Horde chocolate wouldn’t go together to make something great. Why, just take a look at the efforts in Outland!>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: Is everything just food to you?

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Unlike some of us, Hellscream, I am not willing to wait and make jokes as this situation moves from a simmer of hostility to a boil of war without taking some action to reduce the heat.>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: You would rather have us sacrifice our pride and honor to play nice with the Alliance.  To what end?  What reason have the Alliance ever given us to think that if we were to lay down arms that they would happily coexist with us.  It would be back to the camps, back to slavery, and back to a life of nomadic wandering or mercenary work for many.  I would rather die than see that sad fate fall upon this Horde.  Wrynn has made it clear that there is no tolerance for the Horde coming from the Alliance, so the only sensible thing to do is to strike at them before they attack us.  As warchief I would choose to expand our conflicts with the Alliance in order to protect more of the Horde’s territories and interests, especially in the Eastern Kingdom.

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Fear mongering on the what ifs will not help anyone, Horde or Alliance, in the long run.  In order to achieve peace, we must cover the cracked and hard crust of war with the sauce of honesty and the toppings of cooperation.>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: Did you just compare war to a pizza?

    QUESTION: The Horde has always seemed like an Orc-centric race, with the Blood Elves still entertaining ambassadors, the Forsaken now under watch of the Kor’kron guard, the Darkspear camping out inside of Orgrimmar and the Tauren being forced to accept goblin run zeppelins parking in Thunderbluff.  What would you do to unify the Horde as a single force.

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: I find it insulting that you would interpret the actions of the orcs in such a way.  While yes, it is a fact that the Horde was founded on orc principles and interests, we believe that our forces are only as strong as the weakest arm that wields a weapon.  So we have sought to fortify the Horde’s position by ensuring that all of the Horde is connected in some fashion. Be it with ambassadors keeping an eye on Quel’thalas, the Kor’kron defending our closest capital to Alliance territory, or ensuring that the forces of Orgrimmar can come to the tauren’s assistance in a moments notice.  The Horde is a single force, and we are stronger because of it, and it just happens that the orcs are the sword and shield of that single force, and we are stronger because of that as well.

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <You would assume that might makes right in this situation, Garrosh.  You lack an outside perspective of what those actions are doing to the other races of the Horde.  In order to unite the Horde, we must coat our interactions with a thick layer of trust before we can even hope to build that strength.  Because if we don’t all that strength will simply get us stuck and I assure, Garrosh, we will break apart if we try to force it.  Strength alone cannot justify anything.  Even your father knew that.>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: YOU DO NOT SPEAK OF MY FATHER, YOU PILE OF STICKS!

    We would like to remind the candidates that this is a written transcript of the debate and not actual footage, so while I normally would be all for the types of ratings that throwing podiums would pull in, it doesn’t do us jack squat in text.  So please, Mr. Hellscream, put down the podium.

    QUESTION:  There has been some concern for the Horde forces stationed in Outland, and now in Northrend with the conflict with the scourge coming to a close, what are your plans for bringing those brave soldiers of the Horde home?

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <There is no plan.  One should not need a ‘plan’ or a ‘schedule’ to honor our brave soldiers and bring them back home to their families.  You just do it.  Those courageous souls have earned. After all, with Illidan’s forces wiped out, Kael’thas usurped and brought to justice and the naga’s plans halted, what else is there for the Horde to do in Outland?  The same logic applies in Northrend.  We accomplished what was needed and now it is time to let those weary souls rest with their loved ones back home.  If there are any further conflicts, allow the local forces of the Shattered Sun address it.  They are Outland’s own army now.>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: By the spirits, you answered the whole thing without making a reference to food in any way.

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <I am capable of a great many things, thank you.  After all, variety is the spice of life.>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: There it is.  As for the question, I find it appalling that my opponent is so quick to demand that the orcs abandoned their homeland.  We were born in Outland, we were raised in Outland, and I’ll be damned if I let her fall into the hands of whomever comes along next simply because the demons are gone and we want our warm fuzzy beds.  I don’t know how my opponent sleeps, but there is nothing fuzzy about an orc bed, and there is no warmth in knowing that we abandoned our ancestry simply to pander for a few votes.  The forces in Outland don’t need to come home, because they ARE home.  As for Northrend, despite that pompous paladin’s assurance that the Lich King is dead, there has been no decrease in the number of scourge littering Icecrown, and you never take your eyes off an enemy just because you THINK you’ve bested them.

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <Do you always solve everything at a sword’s edge?>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: I’d rather have a sword at my side than a ladle, Kindling.

    BASIC CAMPFIRE: <I’d expect nothing less from the son of a man who…>

    GARROSH HELLSCREAM: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MY FATHER?!  DIE, YOU SON OF A LOG!

    Ah! Gentlemen! Please! Stop! No! Not that! That’s expensive!  Ooo…  Well, I suppose that’s it for this debate.  OW! Stop throwing things!  …I’d like to thank Executus for translating tonight, and our sponsors at Demon Dew, Unleash the Demon in You.  Tune in next week for a debate between Thrall and Lady Sylvanus Windrunner.  DANGIT! THAT HURT!  Okay, who threw that one?  Basic Campfire?  YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ARMS!

  • Eet Moar Chiken!

    Due to a software problem (Firefox crashing), the 2000 word post of the Warchief Debate between Basic Campfire and Garrosh Hellscream was reverted to a meager 78 words long.  A solution has been reached (I’m going back to using Safari) and the post should be up later this weekend, however where does that leave us?  Well, I feel the great need to appease my always amazing audience when awkward announcements arise, so enjoy this photo.

    Not even sure I can come up with an adequate way to describe that picture.  It was one of the weirdest moments in the game that wasn’t the result of my twisted imagination.  I was just sticking some herbs in the bank to free up my bags and then this boomkin shows up in the window and starts saying that – over and over and over.  I laughed of course, it was hilarious! Made me wonder why people even bother with stupid cheap laughs like sparking order of operations debates or saying “anal [whatever]” in trade chat when they could do stuff like this.  Well, I suppose no one gets angry about it, so it’s probably a moot point in Trade Chat, but yea.

    But that’s not the only weird screenshot I’ve dug up from the bowels of my hard drive.  There’s this one that I’ve whipped out especially for the poor misguided souls at Mana Obscura, I Sheep Things and Gnomeaggedon:

    This is what happens when my guild asks me to boost moral while defending Halaa. They know me, they shouldn’t have been surprised when I bust out in a demon worshipping sermon – especially when there’s a podium right there! (Why is there a podium in Halaa? I always thought it was like the government radio bunker that you need to take over to control the media in the country while staging a coup.  But it’s a very short range radio.  ‘Cause it’s just a podium.)  So my magey friends, is this enough to make you see the dark? JOOOOIIIIN UUUUUSSSS…

    Anyway, that’s all. Just some fun pics from my screenshot collection to tide everyone over until the Debate post is completely re-written because of fire-$#%&-fox. And again, my apologies!

  • Welcome to Drak’Tharon Park

    Where? Drak’Tharon Keep, Grizzly Hills

    I know probably the most futile thing I keep hoping for in World of Warcraft is continuity.  I can get behind lore that changes as time moves on (What do you mean the World isn’t flat?  Retcon, I say! RETCON!), I can understand discovering something that vastly changes how we previously understood things (Vrykul is human!  Human is vrykul!) and I will even support a radical change in character if it seems legitimately within reason (Screw you, my people. With the demons now. Luvz, Kael’Thas).  What I can’t understand is when something pops up for no reason and with no explanation, and we’re all supposed to run with it simply because it is a neat idea.  Case in point? King Dred.

    Most people I’ve pointed this out simply respond with “So? There’s raptors everywhere.”  True.  There are raptors everywhere.  Stranglethorn, Durotar, Blade’s Edge, Zul’Drak.  There isn’t a piece of land that we’ve visited that doesn’t have raptors.  But what about Pterrodaxes?  Where are they found?  What about the Stegodons?  Hmmm?  That’s right.  Only in the Un’Goro Crater.  What else is in the Un’Goro Crater?  Devilsaurs.  Do they have any business being somewhere else?  Well, that depends actually.

    We know that there is a direct connection between Sholazar and Un’Goro, we’ve all been through the Waygate (totally different than a Stargate or Fargate) and I don’t find it that unreasonable that the occasional devilsaur could wander through and end up in Sholazar.  However,  Zul’Drak is on the opposite side of Northrend.  How did a bunch of trolls drag one all the way there?  Why are they keeping it in a not-really-fenced off area of Drak’Tharon Keep?  There is no Devilsaur in ANY incarnation of the Troll pantheon that we’ve seen thus far.  Maybe they think it’s just a big raptor and wanted to ride it.

    However, devilsaurs seem to have a weird way of showing up in places that they have no place being – like in Netherstorm –  but I’m still able to concoct a better B.S. reasoning for it than King Drek. Why?  Because I can blame the whole thing on the Twisting Nether! It has the power to instantly fill plot holes!  There’s tons of stuff in those domes that have no business being there.  Like lynxes, moths, or crocolisks (there’s also more raptors, but they are the Outland species of Raptor).  Actually my assumption was that they were brought there by either the Blood Elves, or the Ethereals for some unknown purpose (Zoo? But there’s only one devilsaur in Outland, how is it going to breed?) but even if that’s still stretching it…  Twisting! Nether! (Blizz gets to do it, so do I)

    The amazingly simplistic reason that Blizz themselves have given for King Drek being stuck in a place that has no explanation for it: “T-Rex’s are Cool”  Yes, sure, whatever, wonderful.  Meanwhile, you explain the origin of the gnomes, the secret revelation that humans are descended from vrykul, and overwhelming amounts of history about another world tree, bear gods, furbolgs, the Titans, and the Old Gods, but you drop a dinosaur in the middle of a dungeon for no other reason than you wanted to put a dinosaur in a dungeon.  YEEEEEAAAARRRGGGHHHHWAAAWAWAAAAAAYYYAAYAA (<– This is the sound of a man tearing his own hair out at the sheer WTF-ness of this situation.  Thank you.)

    Give me SOMETHING to work with here, Blizz.  The infinite dragonflight messing with the time stream drops a devilsaur in Northrend, Goblin scientists from Venture Bay have successfully cloned an ancient devilsaur but it got loose and trapped in Drak’Tharon Keep, you are working within the fantasy/sci-fi genres!  You can just say whatever and we will find a way to work it in the continuity!  Hell, Star Wars has been filling in plot holes for years with the thick paste that is the Expanded Universe and the fans buy it.  Don’t just tell us it was NEAT.  That’s Michael Bay territory.

    Man, now I’m all depressed.  I need to go write some fan fiction exploring the burning man-crush hidden behind the hate between Garrosh and Varian.

  • It’s XTREME!

    But With like 2 X’s.  Which makes it like Xtra Xtreme.  That way the kids will think we’re hip. yo.  Totally like the wiggy jiggy.  Or something.  You know, screw this marketing $#%&, just make it as addictive as all hell.  What do we have to lose? We’re the #$%&ing Burning Legion!

    After Monday’s post, I just had to do this.

  • Rock Me, Asmodeus

    What? No, it's not evil. That's my… lava lamp. Wait! No. It's my… well look… all the cool elves were doing it. (image courtesy of WoWwiki)

    Where? Sunstrider Isle, Eversong Woods

    This is probably one of the first weird things I can actually sitting at my desk and wondering about way back in the day.  They were so iconic of the Blood Elf culture, yet the Sin’dorei seemed completely oblivious to them.  It baffled me how you could run an entire society based on something and not know how it actually works…   Ya know what. Forget I said that.  I have no idea how anything more complicated than my toaster works.

    Of course what I’m referring to is that giant green crystal that litter the landscape of Blood Elf territories.  Regardless of their allegiance to Kael’Thas or the recent introduction of a holy light powered Sunwell, these massive crystals are still employed around the blood elf landscape, probably because blood elves have a terrible time noticing really really bad ideas (I think it’s genetic).  The first this struck me as odd was during the first couple of quests a new blood elf will do in their starter area.

    The general idea of the quests is pretty simply, the local wildlife (notably the mana wyrms, which are a creepy enough concept for me to stab them without hesitation.  Aren’t they like giant wriggling mana mosquitoes?) have been acting quite strange.  Well, anyone with a pair of eyes will notice that the mana wyrms are congregating around the giant green rocks.  You know, the ones with burning red eyes floating in them?  Yet somehow at no point does this raise a flag for anyone.  No one ever says “Maybe it’s caused by our giant burning fel rocks!”  Nope. Not once. Ever.  So what is causing it?  Oh, the scourge must be interfering with them.  Yes.  The not even present on the island scourge are responsible. By the light, blood elves tick me off.

    So I kill the stupid wyrmsquitoes.  What’s next on the chopping block?  Oh, well, it looks like the cats that are wandering around the giant crystals are also acting weird.  I don’t even know why you have giant jungle cats wandering around your academy campus anyway!  Oh yes, these unobservant blood elves with all manner of wild beasties running amok aren’t just a bunch of fancy farmers, no sir, they are academics.  Sunstrider Isle is the home of the Falthrien Academy and the surrounding buildings, including the Sunspire that houses all of the trainers, I can only assume are part of the campus.

    But there’s good news, a glimpse of redemption to these blood elf smarties, it seems that the ‘Burning Crystals’ are actually the ones causing the problem!  Oh good! You learned how to add one and one together.  So what’s the plan?  Destroy the crystals?  Research alternative power sources that aren’t evil? How about that holy energy?  I know it may take some work, but I think we can get Silvermoon to ‘Go Yellow’ with a clever ad campaign that demonizes those who rely on demonic energy.  I mean, what are blood elves about if not looking down on others for any possible reason?

    Wait… what?  Oh.  So the plan is to just kill the cats instead.  Good plan.  I can defintely see that working out magnificently in the long run.  You know what, I don’t think the giant jungle cats are being affected by the ‘Burning Crystals’ at all.  I think you want these dumb felines off of your well manicured campus lawn and you want me to do it.  Lazy blood elf pricks.  I still can’t believe that you are even using those fel rocks.  At what point does that seem like a good idea?

    Well, believe it or not, I’ve had people try to convince me that the crystals aren’t really demonic in nature.  That they use arcane energy, not fel magic.  This is not some blood elf NPC trying to swindle me into helping them because I might have some trepidations about working with a demon influenced employer.  No, the people (yes, plural) who have tried to convince me of this are other players.  Come on, people! There are giant glowing evil eyes floating inside the crystals.  The leader of the blood elves is sucking demon juice and bottling it in Outland.  By the end of the expansion, he’s not only actively working for one of the top demons – he’s got one of the little fel rocks stuck in his chest!

    I am shocked that no one thinks that using these things was ever a bad idea.  I know that your magic addiction sucks, and it is more or less go cold turkey or turn into a mana vampire.  But downing shots of unfiltered demon dew (Extreme!) is not a solution.  The fact that no one is concerned about it and that your first instinct is to destroy the evidence?  This does not bode well for your society.  Don’t do the dew, crack is whack, and just say no to green stuff the big kids tell you is magical.

    Don’t believe me?  Look at Grom Hellscream.  Now look at Grom Hellscream’s kid.  Do you see why you shouldn’t do fel magic now?  Yea.  Go back to sucking sunwell punch.