VRYKERION

The Golden Army Must Not Be Awakened!

March 19, 2010
They're like the spiritual opposite of Lawn Gnomes!

Location: Halls of Lightning, Storm Peaks

Faction: Neutral

There is a lot of weird stuff in the Storm Peaks, but this one I stumbled on when running Halls of Lightning and while waiting for a new tank via LFG (the first tank bailed after downing the first boss. We presumed he only needed one Emblem for something.) I decided to wander around the Unyielding Garrison (First big room) and take a look around. Below the small platforms extended in mid-air, I found a legion of massive Iron Vrykul standing around.

They certainly didn’t seem animated, or at least I don’t recall seeing them move any. They just stand there in formation. The other thing that caught me was the size of them. I mean, we’ve seen Iron Vrykul in different places before, but they tended to be about normal Vrykul height if not a little bigger (Runemaster Molgeim in the Antechamber of Ulduar is the biggest I believe) but these things look big enough to dwarf the elemental giants in the Vault of Archevon. So I’m wondering why the heck were these massive metal behemoths ever used? They might have come in handy in defending Loken, and certainly Ulduar.

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Snakes… Why did it have to (Giant) Snakes…

March 17, 2010
Location: Gundrak, Zul’Drak

Faction: Neutral

This is one I’ve wanted to talk about for a long time. Since I first saw it. It captivated me in a way that no one in my group at the time understood. Namely because much like a movie teaser or a hinted at plot point in a tv show, it immediately set off my brain into a thousand different directions to postulate what could this mean for future content in Wrath of the Lich King. So now you are sitting there, reading this, and wondering what I could possibly be talking about. What the heck is in Gundrak that could have good ol’ Vry worked up in such a Lore-Frenzy like this? Well my trusted readers, there is a giant snake in Gundrak.

No! Not Slad’ran. While, yes, he is a big snake. A Snake-Man. That is not what I’m talking about. No, this is further into the instance just before you fight the Drakkari Colossus. Just wander over to the ledge opposite of the Colossus and peer over. Do you see it? Yes. THAT giant snake. There have been dozens of forum threads, many questions raised, and still no one has any answers to exactly what that is, or what it’s doing there. Well, that sounds like a job for Oddcraft now doesn’t it?

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KAAAAAAAHHHHNNNN!!!!

March 12, 2010
Empire formed. Lost his job. Started the entire centaur race? You decide! (Click to see a bigger picture of the Door)

Location: Valley of Spears, Desolace

Faction: Neutral

More specifically the Centaur KAAAHHHNNNS! While wandering around trying to finish up my Lunar Festival achievements (If you are wondering – No, I did not succeed. One Omen kill and most of the Northrend Elders got missed by the deadline), I had to make my way back into Maraudon. While not exactly my favorite dungeon, I’ve made my way through it enough to no longer get lost. But despite all the times I’ve paid the place a visit I never really noticed the massive sculpture looming over the door.

It’s a very strange-looking structure, and doesn’t exactly resemble anything you’ll find inside. But it would have to be something important for the centaur to build it over the entrance to their holiest sanctuary. Since it doesn’t look anything like a Keeper of the Grove nor Theradras, I assumed it was supposed to resemble a great ancestor of the Centaur. Maybe the first centaur? Or maybe a hidden clue as to the real origin of the centaur race! This talk of Zaetar and Princess Theradras is nice, but it’s about as believable as the Moon being the eye of the Earthmother.

After all, why would any being ever and I do mean EVER want to have relations with Theradras? Have you seen that behemoth? I mean, granted, I’ve known many people who have a thing for big girls. But how about a very big girl with three faces and four arms? And not one of those faces are in the least bit attractive. More like an Ogre after some beatings with a shovel. Zaetar had to have had way too much to drink or the whole things a hoax.

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Ask Not For Whom the Bell Tolls: Death in Warcraft

March 5, 2010
I thought it would be fun to share my own personal experiences with the nuts and bolts of the game. Namely, the nature of death in this fantasy realm. It’s always been a strange mix of not wanting to offend, not wanting to punish fairly but not harshly and hoping that people just go with it and not ask questions. Some of this leads to some pretty strange results when you think about it too long, and one incident in particular that happened to me has got me very confused – and it’s one you can try at home! But don’t try to explain it to your folks, they’ll look at you funny and then you’ll meet the men in the white suits. And that is never fun unless you’re a fan of hospital grade Jello. What am I talking about? Well, how about dying when you’re dead?

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Shut Yer Clam, It’s Harder Than It Looks

February 26, 2010
The spear is actually just his backscratcher. (image courtesy of WoWwiki, cause it was better than mine)

Location: Abandoned Reach, Borean Tundra

Faction: Neutral

There’s a lot I could say here about DEHTA. And I probably will do a whole rant about them one of these days. But they have some of the best opponents in all of Northrend. In light of the scourge marching on the doorsteps of both the Alliance and the Horde, many of which consists of Nerubians (Insert appropriate “we don’t save the icky animals” joke here), DEHTA has chosen the true evil of Northrend. The awkwardly named hunters!

Granted, if you were named Ned the Rhino Hunter, I probably wouldn’t give you any flack. Yes, you have a funny name – But you hunt rhinos. I don’t even want to think about what you could do to me. The same could be said about hunting Mammoths, heck I’ll even give you taking down caribou is more bad ass than what I can usually muster. But what can you say about a gnome whose specialty is hunting down… Clams? Yes folks, today we will be investigating the oddest of Harold Lane’s insidious crew of nasty animal killers: Clam Master K.

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Wyrm’s Import Skulls

February 19, 2010
We have the best prices on rare and exotic skulls in all of Outland!

Location: Wyrmskull Bridge, Blade’s Edge Mountains

Faction: Neutral

There are alot of grudges in the Blade’s Edge Mountains: Ogres vs Dragons. Mortals vs Dragons. Ogres vs Everyone else. Us vs Gronn. So one would expect there to be a lot of death in the region. I mean, we are talking about a zone that is epitomized by having massive corpses of black dragons impaled on the spear like rocks (which apparently never decay or rot… which explains how you can keep Onyxia’s head in your bag as long as you want… though how it fits in your bag I’ll never presume to know).

But between the areas known as the Ruuan Weld (controlled by the Cenarion Expedition) and the Raven Woods (controled by the Black Dragonflight, the Arrakoa, and the Ogres… a veritable smorgasbord of the local nasties) there is a very interesting bridge between the two. The Wyrmskull bridge. Although the beast we normally assume is related to the word Wyrm – Dragons – cannot be found anywhere on this bridge. Instead we can a very random assortment of skulls that really have no place being in Blades Edge.. or Outland for that matter.

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He’s Mostly Dead…

February 12, 2010
They were going to give him a real funeral, but then they saw something shiny.

Location: Fenris Isle, Silverpine Forest

Faction: Horde

…So let’s just mostly bury him. Continuing on from my discussion on the complete lack of effort on the behalf of Thule Ravenclaw last week, here we have absolutely non-implied evidence of how lazy these undead are. They don’t even finish burying the bodies. Just look at the picture. Legs are sticking up, and the best we get in terms of explanation is that it was “hastily dug.”

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Harry Potter and the Ghouls of Silverpine

February 5, 2010
Luna and Cho without makeup

Location: Fenris Isle, Silverpine Forest

Faction: Horde

Hey kids! Remember the four Wizards that started Hogwarts in your favorite series of books? Yea! There was Godric Griffindor, and Helga Hufflepuff and a servant of the Lich King… Wait. What?

Yes, apparently long before there was Hogwarts, Harry, Ron or Hermoine there was Thule Ravenclaw, a wizard of Lordaeron that at the height of the Third War decided to switch sides and sign on with the Lich King’s forces. Which leads me to wonder if Slytherin was really that bad of a house in Harry Potter… or if they were constantly getting framed by the Ravenclaws. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who has undead gnolls and zombies crawling all over Silverpine.

Okay okay okay. I’ll stop mixing up my Fantasy before the Tolkien fans show up and tell me that their fandom is the “original” and “best”. But these ghouls were probably my first double take in wandering around WoW. I didn’t even make the Harry Potter connection while I was running around the first time, and I don’t think I’m the only one. From browsing both WoWhead and Thottbot, I couldn’t find a comment on any of these that had anything to do with Harry Potter. And we’re talking about websites that are reknown for having comments with far fetched theories about what certain things in the game are references to. So why is it that no one is drawing connections to Harry Potter? Is it because Ravenclaw has nothing to do with Undead Hyena-Men and Zombies? Are you sure? I mean all we know from those books is that Ravenclaw’s are smart (Smart enough to raise the dead?) and Luna and Cho are in that house. We can’t say for certain that they’re not raising an undead army for the Lich King. Who, and lets be honest, could take some Villain lessons from Voldemort. Ack! Sorry, I got back on the Harry Potter thought train again… (And apparently I’m the only one…)

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Anchors (and Logic) Away!

January 29, 2010
This is what passes for 'Art' in Goblin Towns.

Location: Ratchet, The Barrens

Faction: Neutral

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve spoken about the wonderful Goblins. I’ve spoken about their efficient use of amazing machines with the Venture Company in comparison to say Orcs. But despite what the Goblins have in technical abilities, I often have to wonder about their choices in aesthetics. Gnomish technology is functional, less likely to blow you up, and definately has a unique design aesthetic that when you look at a Gnome machine you KNOW it’s a gnome machine. Other than the fact that they are usually cobbled togehter machines that seem to be rusty and a hazard to your health, I’ve never seen any intent on the Goblins part to make things look good. They seem to pride themselves on getting the job done and under budget. This probably explains why things like the Sludge Fen rig in the Northern Barrens looks like it’s about to collapse when you climb it. So when I start to see things like the giant anchor in the middle of Ratchet, I have to wonder.

I don’t think it was placed there intentionally. I couldn’t imagine a bunch of goblins taking the time to drag a huge anchor onto land and prop it up for no real reason. It would be a waste of time, money and manpower for a simple visual piece in the center of town. But then again in Booty Bay there is a huge statue of a goblin standing there in robes. I’m extremely curious about these because Goblins don’t seem to take a break long enough to even build decent homes. Most goblin towns are either domes or barely standing shacks. So why would they go to such lengths to decorate?

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Confusion with Ogre Naming Conventions

January 22, 2010
One of these things is not like the other…

Location: Telaar, Nagrand

Faction: Alliance

Most races in the World of Warcraft have naming conventions. These are normally common traits that you would find in first or last names. They create a sense of grouping that you can easily understand. Such as Blood Elves having names with apostrophes in them (Kael’Thas, Lor’themar, etc) or Gnomish last names pertaining to some great invention (Springseeker, Airslicer, etc). Normally, if you know enough about the naming conventions of a society, you can usually pick out a name that sounds different. Take demons for example. Demons tend to have alot of X’s, Z’s or V’s in their names. Take these three and tell me if you can find the non-demon name: Xavius, Bazzalan, Galakrond.

If you said Galakrond, good for you! Give yourself a cookie. But today’s odd bit comes from a naming convention that doesn’t necessarily make sense. In Outland, one of the most common species of sentience creatures is Ogres. There’s tons of them! Nagrand, Zangarmarsh, and Blade’s Edge. Covered with Ogres. So you imagine that the Draenei, who were long time natives to Outland, would have some familiarity with Ogre names. So I would like to address the attached picture to this post. Dump, Lump… or BILLY?!

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