This is it folks. The whole enchilada. The very last installment of the Warchief Election Debates. Starting tomorrow (10/12/10) while the servers go down for maintenence and Patch 4.0.1 graces us with it’s presence, a new page will be added here at OddCraft. On that page, you will be able to vote for your choice of who will be the new warchief. But that is what’s ahead of us. Right now, we have the two final candidates who as of yet haven’t had a chance to speak to each other this entire election. Two behemoths of Orc-dom. The Warchief incumbent and voice of peace… THRALL, SON OF DUROTAN! And at the left podium, an orc whose reputation far surpasses his approval ratings (which are quite low), GARROSH HELLSCREAM! Our sponsor for this evening is… oh wow! It’s the Gnomeregan Institute for Advanced Robot Gnowledge! That’s a nice change of pace. Some good guys! Granted, wrong faction, but who cares!
Now both of you know how this works. I say a question and you two argue about it until I ask another one. We like to keep it completely informal and without any sense of structure, because those are the things that make real debates so damn boring so people vote for whoever has the best hair. Since neither of you have very flattering haircuts, we’ll have to stick to the issues. Any questions before we begin?
GARROSH: Why is a human moderating these debates?
Bite me. That’s why. Any other questions? No? Good. Let’s get to it shall we. Our first question tonight actually comes from Miss Anexxia, who originally asked this specifically for Garrosh, but since Thrall also was beat in the polls by Basic Campfire, I’m asking both of you:
QUESTION: How does it feel to know your constituents would prefer a pile of sticks to you?
GARROSH: I won’t lie. It’s a bit insulting. To imagine that those flaming logs were be preferred over someone who can actually move from spot without a shovel or a wagon. I can see the alure to some. After all, I am not well liked because of my policy that the best defense is a good offense. They would rather see the Horde do nothing than defend our lands against intruders in order to eliminate “unnecesary bloodshed.” To those people I ask them this. Have they ever aided the Outriders in the battles for Ashenvale? Did they ever pledge their allegience to the Frostwolf in order to claim territory in the Alterac Mountains? Did they not spill Alliance blood in the name of the Forsaken or the defense of Durotar? Can you really say that if the Alliance were to arrive at the gates of Orgrimmar you would stand and do nothing like the sticks? Or would you be like me, and stand and defend your people and your land? Kill those who threaten you and yours? That is all that I can say about that.
THRALL: There is such a thing as diplomacy, Garrosh. Speaking with the Alliance and determining a course of action that is mutually beneficially to both sides.
GARROSH: I’ll remind of you of that the next time I see Alliance filth riding around on one of their black war bears. I’m sure that process was mutually beneficial to both sides.
THRALL: Regardless, the fact that the Horde would rather see Basic Campfire as the new warchief is not an insult. It is a testiment to the Horde’s attitude of self reliance. Why else would they want a warchief that is physically incapable of doing anything, if the people themselves did not feel fit to do everything themselves. I’m proud to know that the Horde knows that it can be strong enough to act and work without a warchief leading the way. It shows how far we’ve come.
GARROSH: Perhaps they’ve learned they have to do everything on their own because their current warchief would rather sit and have tea with the enemy than see his people protected from those who would see them dead. You can’t keep harboring this infantile dream from the end of the Third War, Thrall. The Alliance wants us gone and dead. Proudmoore’s promise can’t hold them back forever, and what will the Horde do on that day? Try to negotiate for our lives like dogs? Stand there and let them snuff us out like pouring water on a flame? We will need someone who can hold the line, and that pile of twigs isn’t it.
QUESTION: The world is constantly changing, sometimes in ways that no one can even predict, how will you help the Horde deal with change?
THRALL: A question like that is best reserved for a far seer or a sage, but I will answer as I can. Change is a force that nothing can stop, not the Alliance, nor the Horde. It requires patience, and a willingness to loosen the reigns and let the ebb and flow of destiny steer the way. I did not want to take up the Doomhammer when it was first thrust upon me. I had not anticipated Orgrim’s death. But they happened, and when the time came I donned the armor and chose to lead my people. The spirits have, if nothing else, taught me the patience to stand back and look at the world as it is and what it might be, and act from that vantage point.
GARROSH: Spoken like a human, Thrall. Weak and whimpering in the ‘awe’ of it all instead of acknowledging the opportunity that has appeared. Change is a force that nothing can stop in deed, but it can be steered. One should not loosen the reigns just as the chance for glory makes itself known. But it requires the strength and the determination to bring change in line with what is needed. Strength that my opponents all lack. When it comes down to it, they’d prefer to discuss, to plan, to plot – none of them have the will to take action! I am sick of looking at the cowardice that has befallen the Horde’s leadership. Even the Queen of the Dead shuffles blame to a rogue agent, acting as if she knew nothing of the plague that she ordered the creation of. Change is opportunity. Plain and simple. The Horde needs a leader that is willing to seize that opportunity and embrace it for the glory of the Horde, not simply hope the bones roll in our favor.
THRALL: The audacity! Garrosh, one cannot be so reckless with the lives of so many! If one does not look before they leap –
GARROSH: What, Thrall? They might miss the chance for victory? I would expect as much from a warchief who sits on his throne while his subjects spill blood for the Horde. A warchief who wastes the lives of many a soldier who died in glorious battle by denying that such a battle ever occured in the name of some false truce. I’ll never know how you live with your pathetic human moralities.
THRALL: Garrosh! Hold your tongue. You forget yourself!
GARROSH: On the contrary, I know exactly who I am. I am the Son of Grom Hellscream, legendary hero of the Horde, the orc that freed us all from the bloodlust!
THRALL: AND THE ONE WHO SOLD THE ORCS BACK INTO SLAVERY IN THE FIRST PLACE!
GARROSH: How dare you!
THRALL: Never forget that it was your father’s “seizing the opportunity” that chained the Warsong clan to Mannoroth’s blood during the Third War. Your father redeemed himself, Garrosh. But would you repeat the same mistakes? What demon will you drink the blood of Garrosh? Anger? War? How many will suffer for your redemption?! Your father yielded leadership to me BECAUSE of his lust for power.
GARROSH: You never spoke of my father this way!
THRALL: You were depressed. The Mag’har needed you. What was I going to say? “Sorry your father screwed us so bad, I guess he kinda made up for it like this. Hope you don’t screw up as much”? Yes, I’m sure that would have helped you immensely. Your father was a great orc, Hellscream, but he was also a thick headed idiot at times. I owe him my life, and the lives of my clansmen, and for that, I helped you. But if I see you following his shadow, Garrosh, I will not hesitate to call the earth to swallow you whole.
GARROSH: I… You… But… Father…
In an unorthodox move, provoked by this somewhat sensational turn of events (and my love of juicy tabloid drama), I’m going to forgo the last question I have here and make this one simple.
QUESTION: Why do you think you’d make a good warchief?
THRALL: I would like to say that it is my willingness – No, my eagerness, to hold my values above all else. That the Horde must not be tainted by past mistakes if we are ever to move forward in this world and that I would like to lead them there. Perhaps I am too optimistic. Perhaps I am performing a fool’s errand. But some days it feels as if the world itself is about to tear apart, and I am the only one who can see it. A warchief must serve more than just his people, he must serve all people. The world needs healing: the fire burns deep, the water swirls angrily, the air blows, and the earth cracks. I want to be there for my people and all people to heal the scars of war and hate. Though perhaps I am too late to do so.
GARROSH: Suddenly, I am unsure. Through out my time in Northrend I have felt my father’s ghost at my back, urging to me to be great. To save the Horde from weakness as he did. Perhaps I overdid it. Perhaps I fought a monster that was never there. But if nothing else, I know where my allegiance lies. For all that I am, I am for the Horde. Victory or death and nothing less. As warchief I pledge myself to the Horde completely, and I will do everything within my power to protect the people of the Horde. I will spill the blood of my enemies for the Horde, and I will spill my own to see the Horde reach its destined place in this new world. I am not perfect, I can’t say that in the least. But I don’t think any of my opponents could claim perfection either. But I am willing to lay down my life to protect my people. That I can claim.
THRALL: That was good, Garrosh. Your father…
GARROSH: Do not praise me, Thrall. I am not your pet. I am an orc of the Horde. Our fates lie in their hands now.
Well, that’s it folks. If that didn’t get your blood pumping, I don’t know what will. The Voting Booth will be open tomorrow during patch day, and will stay open until patch 4.0.3, so remember to vote and remind your friends to vote too! We’re determining the future of the Horde after all. The voting page will have a link to all of our previous articles about the Once again our sponsor for this historic final event was the Gnomeregan Institute for Advanced Robotic Gnowledge. “After our 2 week crash course you’ll be building mechs in your sleep, but still can’t spell worth a damn” Well, that’s honest advertising if nothing else. Have a fun time tonight, Garrosh?
GARROSH: I will end you, Human!
I am just not a people person I guess. Ta ta for now folks! See you at the voting booth tomorrow!