Location: Various Book Spawn Points, Dalaran

Faction: Neutral

This is one I stumbled upon on my tedious waiting for Higher Learning.  It’s essentially a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions for those who are pondering the acronym and don’t often peruse for free game guides on the internet).  My favorite is the one from the picture: if you having trouble casting, you may be dehydrated and need some water.  Ha! Self referential humor is classic! Good show Blizzard, good show…

But this also raises some questions.  Why the heck is this book in Dalaran?  The MAGE city.  Every single citizen of this town is a wizard in some respect, why the heck have a Wizarding for Dummies book sitting around in a city of people who don’t need it?  Wouldn’t this be better in places like Stormwind’s library, or the Undercity?  Or shall we toss some Cataclysm speculation in and have it turn up in Darnassus!

Oh I weep for the unfortunate Night Elf to get caught with a copy of Mages 101 under his mattress.  Blushing in shame as they mumble and try to explain to his or her parents about they sometimes they just get these urges to cast an arcane missile, and how all their friends are trying it.  Maybe they’ll try and turn the tables and say that when their parents were younger (a few thousand years ago) they were doing it too.  Then the parents will go on the defensive, saying how young and naive they were… and how it almost destroyed their entire world.  I’d pay to watch that conversation.

The point is, while the humor is fun, I don’t get why a city known for their wizardry would need such a basic book.  Does Dalaran have some kind of remedial wizarding classes?  I figured that’s the class that Windle Sparkshine is in.  How low do you have to sink to be put on candle lighter duty?  He’s got to have some bad grades to land that job.  My impression was that Dalaran was the city where the magic university was, not the magic grade school.  Which honestly is more along the lines of the trainers in Kharanos or Goldshire would be.  This book doesn’t belong in Dalaran.  At all. Ever.

Oddly, it spawns in place of a book required to get the Mastery book sometimes.  So this actually might be a subtle hint that you’re not ready for “master” level wizardry yet.  It’s like when you leave the Christmas Sears catalog – toys circled – in your parents room to entice them to take notice of what you want from them. What? I can’t be the only one who did that.  Seriously?  Whatever.  Anyway, this book is spawning to tell you that you are a dumb mage that needs more schooling.  Are you gonna take that from some snooty wizards?

I would tell them to meet you down in the Underbelly for a magic duel to settle this.  And when they’re distracted with casting some of their fancy better-than-you magic…   SWEEP THE LEG!*

*Oddcraft does not support despicable acts that make Mr. Miyagi sad.  We do however support the utter beat down of mages. Because vending machines should not talk back.**

**Despite being the only writer on this site, the views expressed on this site are not those shared by Vrykerion. He likes mages.  Port to Dal plz?