Would You Like Some Lore With That Pony?

Today we're going to play a game, it's called 'Who is your daddy and what does he do?' (Image via MMOChampion)

Would it be an over-simplification to say there’s been a lot of talk about this whole sparkly pony situation?  The responses to its release have been pretty widespread from screaming logical hiccups to squealing delightful joy. However, there hasn’t been a lot of talk about where the heck this thing comes from.  Yes, yes, I know. Mei Francis sends it to you.  Mei Francis – who somehow is the only person in Azeroth who knows where to find a steady supply of dragons with rare genetic problems – has somehow come into supply of horses that look like Algalon’s sidekick in the WoW 80’s cartoon.

I figured since my specialty seems to come from creating lore for things that have none. (Albeit not always great or accurate lore, but lore nonetheless) I figured I’d take my crack at giving some reasons that role-players and curious parties might want for their new super special awesome pony:

Twisting Nether

On the Blizzard Store, it mentions that the Celestial Steed comes from the Twisting Nether.  Sure. Why not? After all, the twisting nether is just some weird extra dimensional realm that might as well be labeled “Deus Ex Machina” for whatever you want.  Where does mage food come from? Twisting nether. Where do warlock demons come from? Twisting Nether.  Where do people go when they die? You got it. It’s the WoW version of the old RPG staple of “A Wizard Did It” or “It’s magic.” Not that I can blame Blizzard for using it.  They probably got their hands full with coming up with slightly more important lore. Like the end of the fricking world.

Honestly, I was never very happy with this explanation.  For one, it seems odd that the same place that is used in the same way as we use “hell” or “heck” and is full of demons could possibly be responsible for bringing forth this pretty pony.  Unless it is also a demon.  Which it isn’t.  Cause then the warlocks would probably complain.  However, the netherdrakes are explained to be dragons that were from or created by exposure to the magical and chaotic energies of the Twisting Nether, so why not pretty starry ponies?  Honestly, while this is the canonical explanation for their existence given by Blizzard, it reeks of unimaginative defaulting to the easiest explanation.


My favorite explanation for the celestial steeds. It’s not hard to see why you would immediately think of Ulduar when looking at these things.  They look like every constellation statue you find in the Ulduar dungeons and raids.  In fact a lot of people thought the steed was going to come from Ulduar (possibly as an incentive to finish it? I know my guild just skipped to ToC and ICC after getting one keeper down, and no one wants to go back because the gear is useless now… /sigh), but it turned out you can just buy the pony.  But Ulduar does provide an excellent explanation for where the steed comes from.

After all, in the timeline of the expansion, Yogg-Saron has had his head shoved back into his hole and Algalon averted from sending out his message to the Titans.  Ulduar is now free and back under control, perhaps it is time to do some exploring!  But didn’t we already see everything that was in Ulduar, Vrykerion?  There was no stable of star ponies in there!  Well, no.  There wasn’t. Not in the areas we explored at least.  Ulduar however is huge.  Brann Bronzebeard first called it a titan city from initial observations.  I can’t imagine we even began to scratch the surface of that place.  The Ulduar raid was a direct assault on the heart of the entire facility, but I can’t possibly imagine that was the whole place!

Imagine if Bronzebeard went back into Ulduar after Yogg-Saron had been defeated?  While exploring he finds these magnificent beasts flying about in the heart of Ulduar, created by the titans as a means for others to navigate their own massive facilities.  Or were unfinished creations of the titans that began to evolve all on their own.  Ulduar, being a titan facility, has been on Azeroth since the beginning.  That’s well over 10,000 years.  I could imagine some unstable creation mutating and evolving deep within in a secluded city.  They took on coloring like their surroundings, blending in to the massive constellation statues, and began to fly in order to compensate for the massive structure they were living in.  There are lots of possibilities here.

The Great Dark Beyond

In case you are unfamiliar with the Great Dark Beyond, it’s essentially the Azerothian term for outer space (as opposed to the Twisting Nether – which is the space between spaces, Dr. Jones.)  Yes, I am suggesting that a possible origin for the Celestial Steed is outer space.  Why not?  Don’t even try and tell me that aliens are too out of the box for WoW.  We have the Draenei.  We have the Naaru.  We have another entire planet in the form of Draenor/Outland.  Why is it so hard to believe that there are other creatures within the darkness of space?

Much like the Ulduar explanation, you could even tie in the unique titan design aspect of the horse into this.  After all, the Titans are said to dwell deep within the Dark Beyond.  They sent Algalon from wherever they are, who shares a similar appearance.  Could it be that these starry creatures are titan creations on another world?  Servants of the titans created as some kind of equivalent to angels or avatars? Take your pick! There are many strange things left unexplored in the darkness out there, surely there must be some creatures that choose to light the way.

A Wizard Actually Did Do It

Some could argue that this is similar to the Twisting Nether origin before.  But instead of being a metaphorical plot device akin to “A Wizard Did It” that Blizzard uses to patch holes, what if a wizard actually did do it?  What I mean is, what if these starry horses are arcane constructs similar to elementals or the massive robots that storm around and guard magical areas?  Finely crafted by the finest wizards that Dalaran has to offer comes a flying horse construct that Mei Francis can sell in that freak sho- I mean exotic pet shop of hers.

After all, mages are the one’s with direct control over weaving the arcane and Mei Francis has set up shop in their mecca.  Would be it that unlikely for them to join forces to concoct a maginficent new ‘animal’ to showcase? It’s not like they have some moral issue with using magic for something like that, heck they use magic to light the street lights and elementals to wash clothes! This isn’t some mystical sacred art, they’d use magic to scratch their own butts if they could.  I can easily envision a gnome making a fancy horse out of to make a few bucks.

Ultimately, there’s probably more ways to think about this that I can come up with here.  But it goes to show you that just because a mount doesn’t drop from a raid boss, doesn’t mean you can’t come up with some fun lore or reasoning behind it’s existence.  It also goes to show you that you shouldn’t always just accept Blizzard’s own wacky logic of “a wizard did it” every time they don’t want to flesh out the details.

The Golden Army Must Not Be Awakened!

An Army of Iron Vrykul
They're like the spiritual opposite of Lawn Gnomes!

Location: Halls of Lightning, Storm Peaks

Faction: Neutral

There is a lot of weird stuff in the Storm Peaks, but this one I stumbled on when running Halls of Lightning and while waiting for a new tank via LFG (the first tank bailed after downing the first boss. We presumed he only needed one Emblem for something.)  I decided to wander around the Unyielding Garrison (First big room) and take a look around.  Below the small platforms extended in mid-air, I found a legion of massive Iron Vrykul standing around.

They certainly didn’t seem animated, or at least I don’t recall seeing them move any. They just stand there in formation.  The other thing that caught me was the size of them.  I mean, we’ve seen Iron Vrykul in different places before, but they tended to be about normal Vrykul height if not a little bigger (Runemaster Molgeim in the Antechamber of Ulduar is the biggest I believe) but these things look big enough to dwarf the elemental giants in the Vault of Archevon.  So I’m wondering why the heck were these massive metal behemoths ever used?  They might have come in handy in defending Loken, and certainly Ulduar.

Continue reading “The Golden Army Must Not Be Awakened!”