Reassemble – Chapter One, Part Two

My sincerest apologies about this post being a day late from its scheduled Saturday posting.  Time has a way of getting away from me and I had a lot of random stuff drop on my lap yesterday.  So here it is, part two of my short story…  (Sorry!)

Vrykerion inked out a rough sketch of each piece that lay before him on the desk.  He drew lines and notes of how each one would potentially fit with others.  He didn’t need too.  He had done this many times before and would likely do it many times in the future.  He knew the design by heart but still went over it again and again.  It may have been in part to the time he spent studying and working with gnomish engineering.  Their desire to tinker and go over every detail hundreds of times to ensure that every bit was correct and in place.  But he knew that wasn’t about knowing how things went together, but understanding why.

“We’re proud of you, son.”  Kitarin Dawnshatter said, slapping Vrykerion on the back, “It might not be a Spell Breaker like your brother was, but being accepted into the Blood Knights is nothing to laugh at.”  Vrykerion just nodded a bit.

Vrykerion was wearing his blood knights’ tabard, a depressing mix of black and red – a reminder of what his people had to endure in the wake of the Third War.  He was dressed in his best chain mail from the graduation ceremony with Lady Liadrin, though in all honesty he had worn it for someone else.

“Just think! A few more years and you might be able to help pull this family out of Murder Row and back up into the Exchange! Or even the Court of the Suns!” Vrykerion’s father continued to prattle, causing Vrykerion to slightly roll his eyes. There was nothing like a reminder that his father’s crimes and the task of their family’s redemption was riding on his and his brother’s shoulders.

“But I want you to have something, my boy.  Something your Uncle got back during the Second War. He originally gave it to Herio, but he didn’t really want it.  I think he thought it would tarnish his reputation with the other Spell Breakers after we joined the Horde. Not that he’ll need it now.” Kitarin dropped something into his son’s hands: a small gold pocket watch. “It’s a gnomish design, ya see.  Tried to pawn it over in the Bazaar but no one in this Nether blasted town is willing to take it with those knuckle dragging orcs’ banners flying everywhere now.”

Vrykerion’s armored fingers traced over the designs on the back of the watch. “Gnomish,” he muttered for a moment before looking up, “You shouldn’t speak of the other races like that.”

“Those brutes killed your brother, you cowardly green skin boot licker!” Kitarin shouted throwing a bottle of wine at Vyrkerion and missing him, turning his back dismissively at Vrykerion and walked back to his hookah, “Don’t you have some rich noble whore to go visit or something, boy?”

“Yea.  Calowen is waiting for me at the celebration.  Tell Mother that I left her a gift when she gets home from work, will you?  Please don’t sell it this time.” His father puffed on the tube, inhaling the thick fumes of bloodthistle, and waved his hand, dismissing Vrykerion without a word.  Vrykerion sighed and left into the streets of Murder Row and up towards the Court of the Sun.

As he turned the corner into the fountain square, he was met with a pair of arms wrapping themselves around his neck.  Vrykerion panicked for a second, his instincts from his years living in the shadiest neighborhood in the city kicking in.  But his nerves eased when a familiar and curvaceous body followed the arms and pressed up against him in a hug, “Congratulations!”

He wrapped his arm around Calowen, “You too.  Excited for our deployment tomorrow?”

Calowen nodded, nuzzling her head in the crux of Vrykerion’s neck, “A bit nervous too.”

“You’ll do fine.  If you can drag me to graduation, I’m sure you could take on the entirety of the Scourge all by your lonesome.”

Calowen chuckled softly, never lifting her head, “I can see my extra lessons in ‘sense of humor’ have served you well.”

Vrykerion smiled.  It was one of many ‘extra lessons’ he had enjoyed with Calowen during their time training to be paladins, “Are you ready for the celebration?”

This time she shook her head and her soft voice got quiet, “I actually thought we could go somewhere else.”

Vrykerion raised an eyebrow.  Did she really mean? His answer came quick in the form of her lips pressing deeply into his, her soft warm skin contrasting the cool metal of his armor.  And as the night went on the cold feeling of armor vanished piece by piece, and the warmth spread more and more.

Vrykerion’s hand trembled slightly as he drew a small 14 toothed cog.  He stopped and set the parchment down.  He allowed himself a moment of reprieve to glance out the window and to let the blood drain from his flushed face.  Blue Child hung low in the night sky.  For a brief moment he wondered where the sun had gotten off to.  The process of rebuilding was long and sometimes very hard on him.  Still, he knew that he had to continue.  He had to press on or else finishing and thus understanding, would never come.  He would simply run away again.  So Vrykerion sat back down and took his quill in hand once more.

The Taxidermy Conspiracy

Plainstriders, Bears, and LIES! Oh My!
Plainstriders, Bears, and LIES! Oh My!

LOCATION: Farstrider Square, Silvermoon City


More fun is to be found in popping into the Hunting Lodge (That’s where the hunter trainers are, if the term Hunting Lodge is too confusing) and look at all the wonderful taxidermy animals that the blood elves had no real way of ever seeing before! That’s right, there’s a plainstrider in there. How in the world did a bunch of xenophobic elves get to the barrens to kill and stuff one and then haul it back to Quel’Thalas? There seems to be more than meets the eye to these shifty elves, and I don’t mean in the ‘Oh! Awesome! It’s Really A Robot’ kind of way.

A Circle of Life in a Hole

Simba, You have forgotten me and thus have forgotten to spend your talent points.
Simba, You have forgotten me and thus have forgotten to spend your talent points.

Location: Sunfury Spire, Silvermoon City

Faction: Horde

Another thing I noticed while running back to the emissaries from the tower. I got to take a gander down below to the base of the Spire. I may just be looking at this wrong, but I swear it’s a lion. A giant lion’s head, ala Mufasa from the Lion King. It’s not entirely unfeasible to speculate it though. Illidan had panda bear faces on his warglaives in Warcraft III. Though I do find it hilarious that it’s underneath the home of the ruling family. My other question is why they built the Spire in such a deep hole. Is there anything else down there? Like a strip mall or a 7-Eleven or something? Maybe there’s a ton of copper coins down there from people making wishes! I mean, who needs throwing coins in the fountain when there’s a Lion Hole at your disposal! Which now makes me wish that there was a Goonies style instance underneath Silvermoon. (Okay, ANOTHER Goonies style instance, I forgot about the Deadmines.)

The Sordid Slavery of Sheet’s

Step 1: Enslave Gnomes. Step 2: ???? Step 3: Profit.

LOCATION: The Bazaar, Silvermoon City


Let’s stop over at Keelen Sheet’s Trustworthy Tailors. I’ve been in here before. It’s one of the only places on Azeroth to find a mana loom, and where I spent a lot of time leveling my tailoring on another characters. What I had never noticed is that in the back of the shop there is a doorway behind the sheer purple blood elf curtains. What I found down there, I had heard about but never seen. It’s an honest to goodness leper gnome sweat shop being run by a succubus belonging to Mr. Sheets himself. The proof of the enslavement is sitting right in the middle of the room on a desk covered in gold (There’s also a leper gnome in a cage hanging on the wall). The best part is that the store is called TRUSTWORTHY Tailors. It makes me question other names in the city. Things like “Bank”. What are they really doing in there? Probably hording Nazi gold. It would definitely match the pattern of proof that blood elves are just horrible, and pretty… but horrible… but still pretty… people.

And I Thought The Cenarion Circle Was Annoying

LOCATION: The Bazaar, Silvermoon City


At the southern end of the Bazaar, there is a large gathering of people yelling at some lady and a priest who are decrying the abuse of magic and the cost of the luxury that the blood elves have become accustomed to. All it really is missing is an elf named Alg’ore and a powerpoint presentation. The more interesting note is that at the end of the whole thing, the people in the crowd summon another priest who casts a spell on the two protesters and knocks them unconscious.

Continue reading “And I Thought The Cenarion Circle Was Annoying”

Murder is a Warlock Word for Home

Its 30 gold for a Horn Job
It's 30 gold for a Horn Job

Location: Murder Row, Silvermoon City

Faction: Horde

to visit the last area of Silvermoon, the one I as a warlock call home: Murder Row. Okay, it’s not like the Four Seasons or something, but how many nice places have you heard of that have turned out to be real dives? I mean, did the Luxury Castle Gardens Motel Six really live up to the name? So why can’t a place with a horrible name be nicer than it sounds?

There’s really not much here though: The Warlock’s Sanctum, the Rogue’s training ground, and a bar with a drunk guy asleep outside (No, it’s not Jero’me, I checked. No rhymes.) The big thing to notice is the one thing that makes Murder Row the best place in Silvermoon to be: Demon Hookers. That’s right, A Pimp Named Keyanomir (Yes, say the whole thing. Yes, that includes the A Pimp Named part) has his enslaved succubus (a popular choice here in Silvermoon) turning tricks down by the mailbox in Murder Row. That’s the kind of ingenuity that you can only find in Warlocks.

Star Crossed Lovers With Rhymez

LOCATION: Outside the Silvermoon City Front Gates, Eversong Woods


Underneath the bridge in front of the city gates is Jero’me. He just sleeps under there and occasionally begs for money.
If you actually talk to him he asks if you want to here some rhymes. Which you can respond to with a resounding “YES!” or “NO!” (Because you apparently have no choice but to love rhymes to an ecstatic fault or to detest it to a point of disgust). Even odder is that he will randomly just shout out, “Bip!” The only thing I could really think of is that this man is a starving artist/insane homeless person/troll. I am curious if Eversong Woods was once populated with many a billy goat before they tried to enter the city via Jero’me’s bridge.To dive quickly into this matter, I noticed that underneath poor insane Jero’me’s name was the title, “Mo’rrisroe’s Minion.” So I took off into the city to find Mo’rrisroe. He isn’t hard to find, he’s right across from the hotel that seems to be housing the illustrious Lv70 Elite Tauren Chieftans. They apparently like to hang out here between gigs, I suspect it’s because of the overwhelming presence of skimpily clothed elf groupies and even more hookahs (They do stay up on their balcony though. I bet they’re afraid of the cats). Anyway, Mo’rrisroe is apparently a member of the Silvermoon Builder’s Association. He appears to be the only member, as I can’t find anyone with the title anywhere else. He doesn’t say anything though. He’s a mute. Probably from shouting at Jero’me to the point where Jer decided to sleep under a bridge outside the city. So, there’s no answer to who these two chaps are. So off I went to the one place where I can find some decent information: WoWwiki. In the end, these two scorned lovers (Hey, if people can assume that any male character in any anime/cartoon is gay and write about it, why can’t I do it for pointless NPCs?) It turns out it’s some Blizzard in-joke. Brian Morrisroe is a lead interior artist at the company, and Jeremy Graves is a Dungeon & City artist that works under him. Both Jero’me’s rhymes and bips apparently come from real life Jeremy, who sings rap songs at karaoke and seems to randomly say “Bip” in real life as well. And that solves that mystery… I like my version much better to be honest.

Dead Paladin Found Near Bank, More at 11.

LOCATION: The Royal Exchange, Silvermoon City


First stop is the Royal Exchange. The best question anyone can ask about the royal exchange is simply: What is so royal about it? I mean, yes, it is home to a bank and an auction house, but so is the bazaar and you don’t see anyone claiming it’s very royal. Is this where Kael’thas keeps his coin? Perhaps trees are a majestic symbol? No, I’m pretty sure that’s the night elves whole thing. The only real difference here is the trees, and a couple more cats, and a dead paladin! …Wait, what?

That’s right, the small cafe that separates the Royal Exchange from Murder Row (Hows THAT for a metaphor for capitalism) has a dead paladin sitting upstairs. His name is Stillblade. Which personally, I think is hilarious. (For those who do know that he’s there, I assume you’re paladins, as his revival is required for a paladin quest. Otherwise, there is no reason to go up there.) There is another paladin that is standing next to Very-Stillblade’s body, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. Since the blood elf idle animation is simply looking back and forth, she looks confused as can be at the dead body. It screams out “Should… Should I poke it? or something?” I decided to help her confusion by poking the lifeless corpse a couple times, spitting on it, and telling it a joke. Yes, Extremely-Stillblade is indeed dead. Does that clarify somethings paladin? Good.

It’s An Optical Illusion of Fiery Death!

LOCATION: Farstrider Square, Silvermoon City


Welcome to Farstrider Square, home of soldiers, hunters, and a giant keg of magma!
That’s right, next time you run over to smelt some ore into bars, take a look up at where the hot goo that powers the forge is coming from. It’s pouring out of a giant bird mouth shaped keg of undetermined origin. I wondered where the lava kept flowing from if it was suspended up there. Did they have to refill periodically when no one was looking? Where did the lava come from? Perhaps it was those crazy mages with their fireballs that keep it going. Then it hit me. Have you ever seen one of those toys that refilter water back up to make it appear like a never ending faucet suspended in midair? I’m pretty sure that’s similar to the trick being pulled off here. It would account for the magma levels being poured out is constant, yet the levels in the forge never seem to change. Truly, the engineers from around the corner whipped up a doozy of an optical illusion. Makes me wonder what else is just a trick. I’m looking at you mages. You won’t be tricking me with those sparklers anymore, claiming that you’ve conjured flame and frost from the arcane energies of the world. I have to sell my soul for power, and you just get to wave a wand and blow stuff up? I don’t buy it for a second.

Elf Girls Like Princes With HUGE Towers

LOCATION: Sunfury Spire, Silvermoon City


The giant fountain of spitting fish and water power over women is a bit much for me, it screams innuendo. Then again, I’m the one who is playing Freud with the massive amounts of large towers that are scattered around the city (The largest being the home of Kael’thas himself, the Sunfury Spire.) Inside the tower is where the three current leaders of the blood elf stand, doing mostly nothing all day. Why should they? They’ve been having me run around and kill any possible threat for the past 13 levels for them. To the sides, you will find either a group of Priests with a large glowing statue (I have no clue why they have a giant glowing statue. But who am I to question those who blindly follow the paths of light, I’m a warlock.) or a mage torturing each other with repeated polymorphings into various creatures (One of which is a giraffe from the Barrens. Yet another piece of the puzzle which leaves me with… about 3,998 pieces left to put together… I should have started with a smaller puzzle).