VRYKERION

Now that we have Balthier the Time Mage and Fran the Bushi in the party, we have to escape the chaos that has erupted in the revolt above – which means we are back in the sewers. But hey, no place like a sewer dungeon for our first REAL boss fight, right?

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?

Waddling through the sewers of the Garamsythe Waterway, we’re off to sneak into the Rabanastre Palace to take back treasure… for the People! Or just to pad our pockets. But we aren’t the only one’s with our eyes on the prize…

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?

With our randomly selected Black and White Mages, Vaan and Penelo, equipped with a single spell each, it’s time to make Jim Henson proud as we hunt down these bright, yellow, and glowing ‘Dark Crystals’ around the Giza Plains to charge our Shadestone into a Sunstone. All while we get fire and earth stones from monster drops. Did we wander into Pokemon at some point? Because I think we’re set on Eveelution stones now.

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?

They Old Dalan knows exactly how to sneak into the palace and break into the super secret vault! That sounds like something we can ignore in favor of finding out more about Montblanc the Moogle and his amazingly disorganized Clan Centurio. Then we head over to the Westersand for a quick jog through the sandstorm and fight a giant wolf called Thextera – who I think will be opening for Poison and Guns & Roses on the next tour?

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?

Street Rat? Riff Raff? I don’t buy that. If only they’d look closer: They’d see a bland POV character. Meet Vaan, the orphan rascal who wants to hunt big game, stick it to the man (by which we mean the Empire), and become a Sky Pirate. When Vayne Solidor, a new Imperial Consul, arrives, it’s up to this plucky teen to cause mischief the only way he knows how… ineffectively.

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?

Racers, start your Chocobos and get ready for a side-splitting and positively silly run through of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age where we try to unpack a story with so many names, dates and places dropped you’ll need another tab open to the Final Fantasy Wiki just to keep up.

Vry is one of eight racers competing to see who gets the best time to finish the game without using guides, speed boosts or enhancers. Will he score the best time? Or will his personal pension to tell jokes and over analyze random NPCs be the end of him?