A confluence of coincidence occurs during the annual stage performance in the city of Alexandria, when the performers are hired to kidnap Princess Garnet at the same time as Princess Garnet is trying to escape while pretending to be kidnapped.
Throw in her bumbling loyal knight, and a strange black mage child and we begin a wacky adventure full of tear jerking, gut punching, and side splitting moments that form Hironobu Sakaguchi, the father of the franchise’s favorite entry.
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Shakespeare could always use more kidnapping.
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This kingdom is in trouble…
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If you run into trees in a RPG – they’re evil.
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It’ll be a cold day on Gaia if I go back in there again…
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Children of the Corn was less subtle than this place.
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Vivi – all the childhood trauma you could want in one easy hat.
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In this here town, everything is big. The risks. The rewards. The ships. Even the Oglops.
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What’s a lone monkey boy going to do in the big city after a big adventure? I dunno. Bug people probably.
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It was a disappointment! It was a disgrace! It was… short? DO HO HO HO HO.
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Zidane must be so proud.
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Call me coffee, cuz I’m all ground up to the next level.
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Behold! The worst security system you’ve ever seen!
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You know, I think the Queen might be a bad guy…
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You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum & villainy… So Garnet’s ECSTATIC.
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Look at this hole! This hole is amazing! Give it a lick! Wait- No! I was just joking! DON’T!
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Dune… Cleyra… Desert uh… tree?
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If one summon could do this, can you imagine what a single legendary pokemon could do?
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Loyalties tested, friends reunited and divided… those two creepy jesters just like being here.
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I was not expecting a Final Fantasy 2 reference.
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It’s around here somewhere… I’m sure of it.
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Rally Ho!
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I want to know more about these strangers like me…
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Cuz you gotta do the cooking by the book!
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It’s NOT the Mana Tree. I think. Maybe?
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It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing. (Either the stone or Eiko… both apply here.)
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Does this make Garnet a bit Hor– Nope, not doing it. I refuse to make that joke!
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I’m sure this is the happy ending and nothing bad will ever happen… What do you mean there’s 2 more discs?
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Welcome to the funniest bit in the entire game.
Thumbail Art by MagnaStorm: https://www.deviantart.com/magnastorm/art/A-slew-of-love-letters-275322413 -
The one where the Yu-Gi-Oh anime tournaments look completely sane by comparison.
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Witness the ascension of D-Rank Summon to A-List Plot Point.
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Well, that’s one less voice I have to do.
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We were doing… something…
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Seasons don’t fear the reaper… but the Black Mages do.
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No one told ya that the Forbidden Continent was gonna be this waaaay (clap clap clap)
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No. Seriously. How did it get here? Who put it here? WHY IS IT HERE?
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Zidane vs the Volcano?
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There is no amount of creepy clowns that will save you from an angry fuzzball. Ask anyone who owns a hamster.
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Dracula wishes his topsy turvy castle was this cool. And yes, I completely forgot all the previous dialogue about Ipsen in this one. No excuse. For shame, Mr. Storyteller.
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Time to start touring memory road. First stop? The return of Jack’s buddies in Final Fantasy I.
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Another world, an alien world… with so many more Zidanes…
Truly, this is a horror.
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More positive mental health ads need an electric guitar solo.
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Curse this game for making me remember Final Fantasy 2 happened. Again.
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The Final Dungeon awaits… let’s make a few minor stops first.
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You thought we were done with side treks? I find a few more to distract us!
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Oh what the hey, let’s poke the doom ball a few times too and see if we can pop it.
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Finally, the Final Dungeon awaits… and it’s our own memories?
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Literally. No joke. It’s time to put the very concept of expiring on notice and win our happy ending.
Vrykerion 